Gentlemen, you may not want to read any more past this point.
I have an appointment in...less than an hour. Woo! I always get freaked out beforehand. It's just so awkward. You gotta get all naked, and then they feel around in your most special spots. I know it's been said before, but geeze...I wish they'd buy me dinner first.
My friend eLLe went for the first time a couple weeks ago. She's never had sex or even used a tampon, but she's getting married and wanted to get on BC. When they tried to...go in...it hurt her, so they said they'd just wait until after she had sex. !!! Way to freak someone out!
I'm most stressed about the weight thing. I know I've gained weight since last year. And I had gained 10lbs that year. Is it going to be another 10? Am I going to go up 10lbs every year until I'm morbidly obese and disgusting?? I'M WORKING OUT - DON'T JUDGE ME, DOCTOR LADY!!
This part is kind of awkward - feel free to skip.
Also, my period started on Monday. I called to make sure it would be okay and they said it would be fine as long as I was "light" and not "medium to heavy." I assume I'm "light" - I don't think I've ever been "heavy" based on horror stories I've heard. That's kind of a subjective thing, I think. And it's just going to make everything that much more awkward. I panic about being gross anyway - now I'm actually going to be gross.
Alright, out of the awkward zone. For the most part.
Anywho - I've got to head out. I'll report back in when I return from getting felt up and poked and prodded. Oh! I was reading about going to the doctor on your period and the article said at one point they're supposed to do a rectum exam. ohnothankyouplease Either I've blocked it out or that has never happened to me. And I'm not about to bring it up today.
UPDATE:
Six pounds! I only gained six this year. Huzzah! As a reward, I ate some Popeye's Chicken. Don't question it, just move on. I told the doctor my libido (oh snap, I'm telling all now) had dropped while on the pill and Mr. T was not too excited about that. I asked about other options and she mentioned an IUD. Anyone have any experience with that? Mr. T has heard terrible terrible things. I've heard no things.
I like the idea of not having to worry for 5 or 10 years about birth control. I would prefer the 5 year, I think, because it's gonna come out sooner than that, anyway, probably. The 10 year is copper, which worries me because I (or at least my ears) have always been sensitive to metals. The 5 year still has hormones - to cause periods to be lighter. She said some women don't even have a period. That weirds me out. I haven't missed a month since I was 12 and had my first.
Anyway - any opinions? Horror stories? Amazing BC that you use?
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Another side note: Check out the vulva cupcakes. So gross. So, so gross. And Mr. Bearded-Man-Who-Thinks-It's-Bad-If-You-Don't-Masturbate can be all "distressed" and "heart broken" that I don't think it's some sort of magical women's freedom moment to have our genitalia made out of fondant and put on a cupcake. SOME OF THEM ARE BLOODY.
I know it says anonymous; it wouldn't let me post as anything else! This is Jen F. I don't mind sharing. I know the horror that is the lady doctor. :) I haven't heard of IUDs for people who haven't had at least one baby already, but my doctor couldn't say enough good things about Nuvaring (I have issues remembering pills every day). It's been working really, really well and I love that it's extremely difficult to use it incorrectly.
ReplyDeleteThe doctor was the one who mentioned using an IUD - and she knows I don't have kids. So I dunno. She also didn't mention NuvaRing. I'm not sure why. I'll have to do some research and try to make an educated decision. Thank you!
DeleteI don't know why it won't let you post with a name - I thought it would. Sorry.
Well now it's letting me post with a name. Maybe I just couldn't get it to work right before! Yeah, I really like the ring though. Although I must say, the IUD sounds even easier - I only have to think about mine two days a month, but you'd only have to think about the IUD what, every five years or so? Pretty cool.
DeleteYay - not anonymous anymore! :)
DeleteAll of these non-pill options do sound tempting, but the side-effects are so crazy! Odds are they won't happen, but...they happen to someone, right?? lol
And I just read an article about how bad the pills are, because no one is consistent enough with them. So a major side effect is BABY. So...maybe the slight risk of a weird infection is worth it. Dunno.
Lindsey had great luck with this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy, I know that's probably not going to be the solution for you guys, but if you ever think about it and have questions, I'm totally open about it all.
ReplyDelete- Matt Street
:D
DeleteWe do plan on getting one of those in a few years. But I think we're gonna have a kid or two first. Thank you!
I get nervous about the idea of anything that has to be... inserted but that's probably just because my crazy brain imagines things like it getting stuck or falling out without me noticing. Realistically, with the guidance of your lady doctor, it would probably do really well.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know people like to harp on about how hormones are really bad for you, and they probably are in a lot of ways, but I'm a huge fan of anything that cuts back that time of the month, plus there are other benefits like preventing cysts :D Which I'm sure is something that only matters to me, but still. One less thing to worry about!
Last, I totally get your concerns about the copper one. With my luck I would develop some kind of horrible infection and NEVER be able to have little ones. But then, I have the same concerns about any IUD lol, so it's possible that's just my paranoia.
Yeah, they do weird me out. What freaked me out more was the Implanon rod (that's the rod we were so confused about - it goes in your arm...go figure). There is no totally freaky way to take BC other than pills, I've decided.
DeleteMy only issues with the hormones is that they kill my libido. This makes Mr. T very sad, indeed.
So, yeah...not sure what I'm going to do. For now, condoms it is.