Friday Tunes

Day Four: A Song that Makes Me Sad

2011: "Brick" by Ben Folds Five


Oh goodness....I forgot about that song for a minute. Holy crap that's depressing. Love Ben Folds, though.


2012: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry


I had never seen The Band Perry until I looked this video up. The dudes' hair makes me more sad than the actual song. Good grief. I mean, I know I have some crazy haircuts/colors...but come on, guys. You have helmet hair.

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I Blame You

So I failed. I totally failed at my post-a-day promise. I'M SORRY. I picked a terrible month to try to do that. I just started my first job, for crying out loud!!

Instead of accepting the blame, I am going to blame you. Remember this post? The one where I asked you for topics? Okay, so I got one response. I didn't know about that one...my bad. But still. WHERE WERE YOU PEOPLE?! You really let me down. At any rate, I have a Sunday Movie Review lined up for this Sunday, and I'm about three Friday Tunes posts out. So you'll at least be getting those. I'll try to come up with something to be clever about. Maybe. Right now I'm going to bed.

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TMI Baby Update

No babies this month!

Friday Tunes

Day Three: A Song that Makes Me Happy

2011: "Peacock" by Katy Perry (and Steve Kardynal)



2012: "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj (and Karmin)



This one was so hard...I have an entire playlist dedicated to songs that make me happy. Choosing just one was tough. Especially trying to find one I haven't already spammed all over this blog...

This.

Is. Happening.

Sometime in the end of July.

I so happy. :)

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HBO Woes

So we totally added HBO/Showtime to our cable subscription just so we could watch True Blood and Weeds. I'm sure I've mentioned it in the past. I'm not looking. Suck it. Well Sunday at 8:00 was the start of the 5th season of True Blood. Holy smokes it was exciting. When we got to watch it. At 11:00. THREE HOURS LATER. ;)

It was quite upsetting. 1 - I was an idiot. I've lived in the Central Time Zone my entire life and still took 9:00pm to mean 9:00pm and not 8:00pm. I WAS A FOOL. But it didn't matter, anyway - when I started looking for it at a time I thought was 30 min early but was, in fact, 30 min late...we realized we don't have HBO. We have HBO2. And all the other HBOs. But no plain vanilla HBO. Same with Showtime. HBO is supposed to start on 350. Our guide skips from 250 to 351. You can't even punch the numbers in on the controller and get it to show up. We tried to call customer support and that was a fail. They supposedly notified our local office, but we didn't hear from them all day, so I'm guessing that didn't actually happen. Luckily HBO-W reaired it at 11:00pm. Which is who-knows-when on the West coast. (I don't care, by the way.)

LOOOOOOOOOOK:

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Okay, he hasn't actually shown up yet, but he will in Ep 2, and the fact that he's The Authority makes me so freaking happy. You have no idea. :)

I'm all out of post-dated posts...

Halp meh!

What do you want me to write about for the next...19 days? Minus Fridays at least - I got that covered. And Saturdays will probably be easy, too. So 13. I need 13 topics.

Go.

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It's funny, 'cause I was thinking "This looks like that comic "Waiting...for the perfect man." and then I clicked on it and realized it was very VERY poorly whited out. Huh. "whited" is a word. Another funny thing - there are so many different versions of this comic when you GIS it...it wasn't funny the first time I saw it, ladies. Move on.

Belated Sunday Post - I Apologize with YouTube Videos

Oopsies! I blame Miss C - she came to see me this weekend and I totally forgot to post last night. :P But now you get two today! Maybe...actually, I don't think I have any more saved up. Crap. Now I have to write two tonight?! Balls... Anyway - here are some YouTube videos to apologize for breaking my promise.

First on the agenda, the cutest freaking piglet video you are going to see this week. Unless you start watching the "related videos" off to the side that are full of cute piglet shenanigans.

Next, these chicks are freaking AMAZING. I'm so jealous.

Heh. Fun fact - I totally dance like her when I sing along in the radio. And by "dance" I mean move my head like her. And by "her" I mean a weird hybrid between her and the dude in the back with the bongos and blue polo. Dude is HAPPY. As am I when this song comes on the radio.

Finally, I had NO IDEA this was Justin Beiber. I don't know how to respond. Other than to say he is really bad at lip-syncing. And now I can't say I've never listened to a Beiber song. I'm still not 100% sure I like it, but...it gets stuck in my head.

Saturday Product Placement

Snapea Crisps

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You guys. These things are pretty tasty. And they're pretty healthy. And they're not that expensive. At Walmart this bag was like $1.50. Go buy them. Try them. Lurve them forever. :) :)

Friday Tunes

If you remember, I said I was going to be participating in the old 30 Day Song Challenge for my Friday Tunes for the next...30 weeks. So, here's Day Two!!

Day Two: My Least Favorite Song

2011: "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk

2012: "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction

Who I Am

I stole this from Facebook also. I wrote it back in 2010...seems like forever ago. But I was very eloquent. So I'm going to paste it and then update the information. I may add some stuff at the end, dunno. I haven't actually read it yet. Just playing this one by ear. :)

My name is [redacted, for funsies]. I was born [redacted, for more funsies] back in [year redacted] (I'm 22 [almost 24], don't try to add - you'll hurt yourself[I deleted the year - for funsies!!]). I'm a grad student at [recent graduate] from [university redacted], getting [having just completed] my Master's in Computer Science. I'm married to a man who is so amazing...I can't put into words how important he is to me.

I'm a Christian. I believe there is a Higher Being, and I call him God. I believe Jesus is his Son and came to this measly little planet, lived a perfect life, and died unfairly to save all of us from our failures and shortcomings. I believe that if you don't believe the same thing, you're missing out on everything God has planned for you - including an eternity in Heaven. I'm sorry if that upsets you. If you're reading this, you should be old enough to make up your own mind about your beliefs. If you believe differently than I do, then you do. I can't change your mind. I'll gladly talk to you about it, but I'm by no means eloquent and if you're looking for a good debate, move on.

I have five [seven] tattoos. The only visible ones are my dragon on my ankle [the lantern on my back (that I totally forgot about and took about 30 seconds to remember where my 7th tattoo was...)] and the heart on my ring finger. I have a giraffe on my [right] ribs, a cartoon character on my hip, [a massive still-under-construction steampunk rib piece on my left ribs] and a garter around my left thigh. None of them have significant meaning except for the heart. But all of them are important to me. I got them because I like them. I plan on getting many more. Yes, I know it's permanent. Yes, I know they'll be deformed when I get old. YES - I KNOW they hurt. If you ask me why I have tattoos, I will ask you why you DON'T. It's probably the same reason - you don't want them and I do. Now let's move on with our lives, shall we?

Oh, one more thing about body modification. Stop being so d*mn judgmental toward people who look differently from you. Just because someone is covered in tattoos, piercings, dresses unlike you, has weird hair (by your definitions of "normal" and "weird"), is a different skin color, speaks differently, etc. doesn't make them wrong, or a bad person. They're just different! I'm sure if you took your "normal" butt to another part of the world (or even another part of the country) they would consider you "weird" and "different."

I drink alcohol. I drink to the point of drunk. I don't do it often, but I do do it. [I do it more often than I used to...] I enjoy it. I don't judge people for staying sober, or for getting drunk. I believe if you HAVE to drink, then you should probably stop and seek help. Sure, if you're of age and don't drink for any reason than "I don't want to." I may try to get you to, but only jokingly. I respect anyone's decision to stay sober. If you think it's morally wrong, I won't even joke with you, promise. :) [I think I'm a pretty awesome drunk - ask anyone who has spent time with me. Life of the party, this one. :P]

I think cigarettes are the stupidest thing in the world to get addicted to. I will admit that I own a hookah and I have smoked flavored tobacco out of it. It's been months since I have, and even when I did use it fairly often it was less than a handful of times in a month. I don't smoke pot, but only because it's illegal. The severity of the punishment for marijuana is so ridiculously extreme it's not worth it to me. I do support legalization and I would smoke if it were legal.

I don't curse. I honestly don't care if you do, but when little kids and old people do it it weirds me out. And I will get pissed if I see someone teaching a kid to swear because they think it's funny. I do say things like "pissed." [And "dick" and "balls" and "cunt" and...lots of references to genitalia, apparently.]

I saved myself for my husband (yes, that means sex).

I bite my nails.

I do things like this to put off my homework, even though it's built up so high I can't see an end in sight (except for all those deadlines with big, fat zeros waiting on the other side). [I'm doing this now (thank God I don't have homework any more) because I am so. sick. of living my life afraid of what people (read: my family) think of me. I don't think alcohol is bad, I don't think tattoos are bad, I don't think cleavage is bad, and I don't think taking pictures of yourself wrapped in sheets holding a cat with your hair in a mohawk and then posting them online is bad. Apparently. Because I did that.]

I know I'm not perfect, and I don't believe any human on this planet (minus Jesus, of course, but I don't really consider him "human") has ever been or will ever be perfect. My goal is to do the best I can in the time I have here. I make at least a million mistakes every day, and I'm sorry if I've ever said or done something to you that hurts my witness as a Christian (or even just as a decent human being).

[I made it through six years of school, got an amazing job within a month of graduating, and am now making...way more money that I can believe. I work hard (enough), I play hard. I love my family so much that I have tried for the past six years to hide from them how I've grown into a woman I'm actually quite proud of. After spending my entire childhood trapped in this awkward, frightened little person I finally got over it and now I'm...an awkward, strange, and - when drunk - quite loud little person. But I like this one. I'm keeping her. And I don't want to keep hiding her from people like she's something to be ashamed of.]

So, yeah.... That's me! Sorry if it's more than you wanted to know. I just wanted to get it out there. [Just please don't tell my parents about the tattoos on my ribs.]

Welcome!

And here I thought I wouldn't have a post for today...


Welcome, Family, to my blog! Have a look around, tell me what you think. :)


This week has just gone swimmingly, hasn't it, folks? Excuse me while I go back to bed until time machines are invented. Oy...

Update

Alright, I doubt you missed the last post. But if you did...go read it, or this one won't make sense (do they ever?).

I guess I left off with my email to my parents. Ummm... Well, really the only thing left is this message from my darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama-cousin:

I did I sent you the message. I did not say that you are or are not a Christian. You knew it would upset her that's why you did not show them to her first. She should be upset. You will never understand until you have children. Even when they are adults they are still your child. I was not the first family member to be upset with the pictures. I was the first to say something to you privately. Sorry your mad and I still love you.

A message I really don't care to respond to. I talked to Sister again and she's talked to Mom (I still haven't). She's feeling better now that she knows the pictures aren't as bad as SOME MORON told her. She's still upset, but...hopefully she'll recover more quickly. God, I want to punch my cousin in the face. With a very large stick. Mom sent me a (really, really) long email. I'm not going to post it, but... Yeah. She's my mom. She's wordy. I may take after her...

But holy crap my cousin! She didn't even apologize for hurting Mom. She's feels completely justified. I really feel like this is a speck/log situation. She is so. awful. about gossiping. She spreads so many rumors (and straight-up lies) around our family about our family. I'm totally writing her off. [redacted for this was family gossip]

(Side note: I'm watching Ghost Whisperer and she's seeing this vision where cars are falling from the sky and so she's running around, screaming like an idiot, and no one else can see the cars. But no one even gave her a sideways glance. "Oh it's just that crazy woman who talks to herself...")

Mmmmm... She's a cunt. Good day!

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Update: I lied. I totally just sent her this:

...You're not even going apologize for how badly you hurt my mother? She thought there were pictures of me online totally in the nude! And you didn't even talk to her in person - you left her a voicemail! 

You just proved my point about the family gossiping instead of talking to me. I said "coming to me as an adult and discussing it with me" - in what universe did your message do that? You yelled at me like a child. 

If I were 15 and living in my parents' house and you discovered something about me that would upset my parents you would be totally justified in going to her. But this time you weren't. Yes, I will always be their child, but I am also an adult now. And adults make their own choices and live their own lives. Yes, I knew it would hurt her. So I kept her out of it. How is it better that she knows? Please explain.

No, never mind - I don't care. I'm not wasting my time on any of this any more. You have been spreading lies and gossip in our family for years. Please keep me out of it from now on.

I still love everyone, also. But I would much prefer the next time anyone has a problem with a decision I've made about my life they come to me directly instead of...whatever just happened with all of this. Things have gotten totally out of control and way too many people were hurt.

50 Random Questions - 2012 Version

1. What is your best friend's Dad's name? - Ed Cantrell. Dude, I haven't seen that guy in forever!!

2. Have you had sex in the past 48 hours? - Do you...do you really want to know? Sadly, the answer is "no." BUT! Ask again tomorrow and the answer will be "yes." I'll leave you to think on that one.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? - Hot to me, or objectively hot? I haven't had a young teacher since high school, unless you count my Speech professor, but she was female. I think she was attractive, though. I like to think all my students would pick me for this one...

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater? - No. Who does that? Weird people do that. No one wants to see that, guys, wait until you're alone. And if someone does want to see that...you don't want them to, because they're a pervert and will probably be wearing your skin as a suit very soon.

5. What body part do you wash first? - I used to have a system. Now...now I don't. If I wash my hair, I usually do it first. But sometimes I don't. Then it's a crap-shoot on my mood as to if I go for the face or body first. I'M LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

6. Do you have any piercings? - My ears are stretched. I've tried others and...I hate piercings. Cover my body in tattoos, but please don't poke a hole and shove metal through it. It hurts.

8. Is your driveway steep? - Negatory. Is a flat one. Like your chest, skank. It does suck, though, as a driveway, because three people live in this stupid house, and we have three stupid cars, and this stupid driveway is a LIFO control structure, best demonstrated by a stack. For you non-CS people, think of a stack of plates at a buffet. Or a driveway that only has one entrance/exit.

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? - I gotta go buy me some Pringles and experiment. Like a college freshman.

10. Have you ever been tied up? - I sat and stared at this for...awhile...trying to decide how best to answer. I'm just going to keep it brief and say "Yes, and you don't want to know any more details."

11. What are you listening to? - Silence, until I start typing. So right now me typing.

12.What did you just eat? - Last night I made a grilled cheese sandwich and it was DELICIOUS. Even if I burnt it a little. And didn't have milk to drink with it.

13. Have you ever kissed more then one person in one night? - Nope! Not on the mouth, anyway.

14. How many times have you been cursed at? - Do people really keep track of that? I have no clue. But at one of our parties my darling Mr. T, when I asked him to let the dog out, told me: "Go f*ck yourself." Romance isn't dead, kids!

15. Which shoe do you put on first? - What the what? Umm...whichever one I find first.

16. How old are you? - 23, baby - WOO!

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar? - Negatory.

18. Have you ever had any friends with benefits? - I've seen the movie, but I do not own it. 

19. Ever laughed so hard you pissed on yourself? - God no. Gross. Who made this list, and what is wrong with you?

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or frogging? - Nope.

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? - Well I'm half-heartedly writing a book (yes, a romance - yes, about vampires - DON'T JUDGE ME), but it's mostly in my head, and I usually fall asleep trying to come up with stuff for that.

23. Have you ever had a song written about you? - Heh.... Mr. T kind of wrote me one once. He was strumming chords on his guitar and started singing (quite loudly) something about how he loved me...I don't really remember. But it was when we were dating, so it was at his grandparents' house with his cousin asleep in the next bedroom. We realized later he probably woke them all up.

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or towels again which one would you choose? - Dirty sheets all the way. A clean towel is crucial to my life. Now, I will use the same towel for about a week, but still. I can go a month or so without washing sheets. Am I gross? I think I may be gross.

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? - I did once. I'm still trying to forget.

26. What was your childhood nickname? - Most people called me by my first name. Ms. C called me B, so I tried to take up calling her C, but...it always feels weird.

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar? - Yeah...that doesn't happen.

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? - I've always been curious, but I don't want to see naked old men. So I refrain. I'm always freaked out when someone brings their son into the women's locker room, though. I mean...what the who, lady! 

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving? - I feel every drive is an adventure, full of new experiences and wonder. Mr. T hates riding with me. I may give him a heart attack. I can't think of any one weird thing I've done, but I'm a very interesting driver.

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails? - Toenails are gross and should never be touched with the mouth. I bite my fingernails like it's going out of style, however.

31. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies? - And now I want Oreo cookies... I hate this survey.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. - This is a very short list. So short I can't think of anything... Poop?

36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? - It only takes one. Not that I'm drunk after one, but that I lose control after one and keep drinking until I wake up the next day going... "Okay, what just happened?"

37. Why are you doing this survey? - Stupid Ms. C drug it up from the depths of our past and threw it in my face. Also, I made this stupid pledge to post every day for the month of June. I should have picked February. Less days.

39. What did you do last night? - Mr. T's sister came over.

41. Do you have any strange phobias? - I hate getting popped with rubber bands and wet towels. I will murder you if you try. MURDER.

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - What?! Just my fingers, and tissues, as far as I know.

43. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Who was it? - Mmmm...right at the end of my freshman year. Super hot guy named...well, we'll just call him Super Hot Guy. I dated Douchebag instead. Past Sarah was a fool. A FOOL I TELL YOU.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name? - Nah, but I reuse nicknames. Well, just "baby."

46. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?-  The date nights Mr. T and I have usually end with us sleeping on the couch like a couple of old people, so...sure.

47. Have you ever played naked twister? - Is this like the horizontal tango? Because then the answer is yes. If it means actual Twister with actual naked people, then no.

48. Have you ever been drunk at work/school? - I got so drunk I went to work at a retail outlet so hungover I was almost drunk. But not real jobs, no.

49. Have you ever jumped in a pool with all your clothes on? - Yes. Yes I have.

50. How many Bruce's do you know? - I feel like I know someone who has named something Bruce...like a dog, or a car or something...but I don't know any human Bruce's, I don't think.

What I look like in 2012:

I don't even know where to begin...

I guess I'll start at the beginning. You remember this post, right? My lovely photographer friend took sexy pretty pictures of me. Rawr. Well, after she showed them to me I recalled this model search one of my friends had entered. They were looking for 20 models and they hadn't had that many when she submitted so I was like...hmmm...I wonder if I could submit these pictures?? So I did. And I didn't think about it again.

I went to Mr. T's shop yesterday after work and the counter girl was all "I saw your pictures on Facebook - they look great!" And I was all... "Wut?" Apparently they were posted on Facebook last week sometime. So I go to take a look and they look great! I mean, I had seen them before, but still. Yay! It kind of took my thunder when I realized that everyone had won because there were so few submissions, but...still - Yay!

I wanted little miss photographer to know, so I commented on it with a tag for her to see. Then other people started commenting on it. At that point my brain should have gone "If all my friends can see this then my family is going to be able to see this. That's bad." But my brain is not my ally and it did not warn me of impending doom. This morning when I got to work I was all "herp dee derp, check FB - uh, oh - my uncle commented on the picture?!" He actually just cracked a job along the lines of "So is this the new job I've been hearing about" Haha, funny one, uncle. :P

A few hours later I get this message:

I am just glad that your grandparents are dead and can not see those pictures of you. Great if you want ed to give it to Todd but where is your respect to your parents?Married or not if you were [my daughter] you would get your butt beat!!!

It was sent from my darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin. I was immediately pissed off, but didn't want to fan the flames and cause more problems (I was still naively hoping my parents wouldn't see the pictures. Well actually, they haven't seen them... Anyway - later part of the story.) so I didn't respond. In the meantime I do post an apology status on Facebook, in case I upset any other family members:

I apologize if you see or hear anything involving me that offends you. I helped a friend out with her school work and then it entered a competition. I won!! (kind of -they ended up declaring us all winners...) I won't apologize for helping, but I am sorry if the public display of the work offends you. I never intended to do so.

Which actually got about 30 comments. Either the person was confused, or they were telling me I had nothing to be ashamed of - the pictures were beautiful! I guess if it did offend someone they weren't going to post about it on my wall, though... Then I get this email from Dad:

Don't know what you did but [your mom] is getting phone calls and she is upset.

Love you,

Pop

I'm about 99.99% sure I know who did it, so I'm like...oh alright, I'm sending her a response:

I am truly sorry you feel that way. I can't imagine anything in this world that would affect me so greatly that I would actually be happy that Mamaw and Papaw had passed. 

I am thankful that I am not your daughter if you plan on treating her like a child even into adulthood. I have no desire to upset anyone in the family, especially my parents. I just thought my friend did an amazing job and wanted to get her work recognized.

And I respond to Dad (since I still don't know what exactly they've heard) with:

I was afraid of that.

I can't go too long without causing problems - you guys would get soft.  :)

Well I love you. Try to not think the worst of me. You raised me right, no matter what they say about me.

Love you,
Sarah

Then it's all quiet on the home front. I delete my comments on the picture so they are in no way linked back to me. Well, except for darling uncle's comment...and I wait to see what's going to happen with Mom and Dad. I finally get a call from my sister on my way home from work. She had just dropped Baby M off with our parents for the night. She said Mom came up to her with "I was just told terrible news." immediately followed by out-of-control crying. So Sister thought someone had cancer or was dead or something completely terrible, only to find out it was pictures. That she had maybe already seen a few weeks ago. But, since she's the good daughter by way of being crafty (and cowardly) she keeps quiet. Sacrificing me.

Mom has her listen to darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin's voicemail (voicemail) that she had left Mom. SHE TOLD MOM THERE WERE NUDE PICTURES OF ME ONLINE. Excuse me while I go scream. I don't have the words to express just how totally pissed off I am about this entire thing. What a cunt. My parents have not seen the pictures. They've just been told their sweet little baby girl is NAKED ON THE INTERNETZ!! The parents who warn me every single time I go home to be careful what I post... Oy.

Then - the icing on the cake - I get this message from darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin:

If it does not glorify God then it shouldn't done. [My daughter] even said that showing off your body is not cool. You can also get fired from a job for doing things like this. I just want you to think about what you are doing and how it can and will effect you on down the road. Do you want your children to see that? The world has become so numb to this that everyone thinks it isok and it is not. There are some really crazy perverted people out there and you need to be careful. I love you no matter what.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to drive to [state where darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin] lives and punch someone in the boob. That I'm sure will be totally covered. From neck to ankles, that family. :P No, they're good people. It's just that darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin LOVES to stick her nose in everyone's business. So she's pissed a lot of people off. Never me. Until today. lol Gah - all of this happened in one day!

Awww... My brother just sent me this email:

Well I haven't talked to mom i did see the pictures a little while ago.  And i have to say while I wouldn't recommend them for a family Christmas card... :) your friend did do a good job in keeping them tasteful.  

That said while I don't agree with what [darling smniebtcfdc] said I would say u do need to be careful putting yourself out there for the world to see.  You never know who is watching.  While most people are innocent there r a lot that are not.  Not to mention you are a working girl now and must be careful what your employer and future employers see.  

Lastly u r a good Christian girl and while the pictures were not "dirty" i see these pictures as something special for u and [Mr. T] to share.  That said do i think you crossed any biblical lines?  No, but u do need to be careful.

Okay I am done.  But before I go I do want you to know that i and the family still love you and in the end we only want the best for you.  Should [darling smniebtcfdc] had said what she said and handled it the way she did?  Absolutely not!  The only thing I can figure is maybe her kids so it first and that set her off.  But even that is no excuse as kids nowadays are exposed to so much more graphic material.

Okay I am really done now and ready for bed.  Hope you are doing the same.

But now my narrative is slightly out of order. Where was I? Oh, I responded to darling stick-my-nose-in-everyone's-business-to-cause-family-drama cousin!!!

I don't even have the words... You have made me more angry today than I have been in a long time. 

YOU CALLED MY MOM ON ME!! Like I'm some teenager who can be grounded. I am twenty-three years old. A married woman who has been living on her own for nearly seven years now. I'm sorry your daughter saw the pictures, I truly am. (As a side note: I don't think Facebook is the place for teenagers in the first place and have now removed all of them from my friends because of this.) Instead of coming to me as an adult and discussing it with me you attacked me in a message and then CALLED MY MOTHER.

I am a Christian. I attend church every week and am very active in a small group of young married couples. I know that I have some differing opinions on what is "right" and "wrong" in this world compared to most of the family, and I know that some of the things I do in life will upset my parents. So I avoid involving them. Nothing - absolutely NOTHING was accomplished by you calling my mom today, other than hurting her. And pissing me off. Well, and finally motivating me to clean out my Facebook friends. So thank you for that, at least.

"If it does not glorify God then it shouldn't [be] done..." You told my mother there were NUDE pictures of me online! Are you KIDDING me?! Those are NOT "nude pictures" - I am more covered than half the people you will see on vacation at the beach. My friend - also a Christian - needed photos for her portfolio. She's graduating this month. She very carefully made sure nothing was exposed (her teacher told her they would have looked better if I was totally topless). I thought she did such an amazing job I wanted to show them off, so I entered them in a contest. Everyone - including a good portion of people from our small group at church - had nice things to say about me, the photographer, and how tastefully done the whole thing was.

Maybe the world is going down the crapper and we're all blind to it. I don't know. But it was not your place to call my mother, however you feel about me OR the photos. Next time instead of gossiping to the entire family, why don't you try open and honest communication?

And then I needed to email my parents again:

I've talked to [sister] and know more of the story. I wanted to let you know:

1. I'm sorry.
2. There are three pictures of me and I am not naked in them. I am as covered up as most of the people you would see on the beach. Granted, it can be argued that that is still not enough, but I want you to know that I am not exposing myself in any way. If you want to see a picture for yourself I can send you one.
3. Again - I am so sorry. I love you guys. When I realized the pictures were linked to me and showing up in people's news feeds I made sure to undo those ties, but not before [darling smniebtcfdc] saw, apparently. Instead of talking to me about it she sent me a very hateful message on Facebook and called you guys. 
4. One more time: I'm sorry you were drug into it. I never wanted to hurt you.

Goodness griefous. I think you're all caught up now. What have I learned? Family is complicated. :D I know the pictures could cause me problems with work, but so could my hair, or my tattoos, or the copious amounts of drugs I do. Oh, wait - no drugs? No...I don't do drugs. How boring. I think they're very tasteful.** I hope I don't get fired because of them...I really like my job. But what's done is done. Live and learn. Hopefully my life is nice and dull for months to come.

Now I have to go shower and get in bed. Work in the morning! Until they see my horrible, naughty pictures and fire me posthaste. :P Bye!!

**Update: I think the pictures are tasteful. Not drugs.

















Oh...you want to see them? HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!

(The one with Chairman is my favorite.)

Oh! And one that she took that was TOO SHOCKING for Facebook!!!!!!

HE'S TOTALLY NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!

50 Random Questions - 2007 Edition

1. What is your best friend's Dad's name? - It is...Mr. Cantrell. What's his name? Oh - Edward.

2. Have you had sex in the past 48 hours? - I have not had sex in the past forty-eight hours. Or have I? No, I haven't.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? - Well...Mr. Ellis was cute until he did that whole teacher talent show - you know what I'm talking about, Stephanie. Ew...

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater? - I have not. I go to movies to watch them. I'm not paying freaking $8 to suck face...

5. What body part do you wash first? - I put facewash on before I get in the shower...next is shampoo...then the rest of me ( I shall not go into too many details ).

6. Do you have any piercings? - Just the ears. But they are gauged. I'm on fours now. Thinking about twos. Well, I'm gonna go to twos. But when? And I'm gonna get my lip pierced at some point. After I get a job at a place that allows it. Wal-Mart does not. They suck. It will be a good excuse to quit, though.

8. Is your driveway steep? - It is not. It is very flat, actually. Nice and flat.

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? - I haven't had Pringles in so long. What do they taste like? I liked the cheese ones, and the pizza ones, I think.

10. Have you ever been tied up? - Like in a hostage/kidnapped situation? No, I have not. It would be exciting, though. The only thing is that then I would be tickled mercilessly and I would be forced to hate you for the rest of my life. So don't do it. Unless you promise not to tickle.

11. What are you listening to? - I am listening to the pitter patter of fingers on keyboards because I am in the BAS computer lab like the totally cool kid that I am.

12.What did you just eat? - I had a pot pie. It was a fiasco and will not be discussed by anyone ( Stephanie! ) ever again.

13. Have you ever kissed more then one person in one night? - I have only kissed one person my entire life. But yes, yes I have.

14. How many times have you been cursed at? - All the time. Oh - remember Perry? He called me a smart-@ss...he was the first, but he definately wasn't the last. 

15. Which shoe do you put on first? - Hmmm...I think...the...right one.

16. How old are you? - I am 18. I will be 19 in...two months...minus three days

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar? - Hehe...I have not.

18. Have you ever had any friends with benefits? - Hmmm...all my friends have benefits. You just have to ask - I'm easy... ; )

19. Ever laughed so hard you pissed on yourself? - Ew...ew, ew, ew...yes. lol, no, I have not. That I can remember, anyway. Maybe I have...no, I don't think so. I think that's something you would remember. And I definately do not. Remember, that is. So I'm gonna go with a "no" on this one, Frank. Who is Frank, you ask. Why, you are Frank. Don't you know your own name?

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or frogging? - I have not. 

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? - I have no idea. It's not consistently the same person every night. We'll go with...you!

23. Have you ever had a song written about you? - I hope not. That would make me feel...awkward.

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or towels again which one would you choose? - Sheets. I like clean towels, man. Well...I like clean sheets, too. Let's just say that this situation is never going to arise and I'll keep my sheets and towels clean all the time. Well, I wash towels more than I wash sheets. 

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? - Ewwwww...I found something once. I still gag a little...

26. What was your childhood nickname? - People have always called me SarahBell. It's my name, it's what they call me...I dunno. Stephanie calls me "B"

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar? - I have never played the air guitar. It hates me and when I tried it bit me. We don't speak anymore. Please...I don't want to talk about it.

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? - Oh, all the time, man. It's what I do...

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving? - I do all kinds of weird things while driving. You have no idea. I talk to myself a lot. And to the cars. I talk to the cars while driving. That is the weirdest thing I have done/do.

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails? - I used to suck my big toe when I was like...four. But that's about it. No biting toenails. Whoa - what if toenails could bite? Like that creepy foot fungus commercial where the nasty thing lifts the tonail up and jumps in...that thing grosses me out so bad...

31. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies? - I put them in my mouth and chew. Then swallow. Then digest.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. - I do a lot of things alone that I don't do around people. Except maybe Stephanie. But, yeah...ya'll don't even know...

36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? - I stop before I get drunk. It is something to think about, though, isn't it? Maybe I shall try it sometime...no, no I won't. Well, it might happen one day. But not any time soon. So stop watching me!

37. Why are you doing this survey? - Because I drove all the way to MTSU to get on the computer and no one's online ( other than Nick, Chris, and Stephanie - love ya'll ) and I'll be darned if I'm gonna leave here without doing something...

39. What did you do last night? - Last night I...was here. Then I went to bed.

41. Do you have any strange phobias? - I do, actually. I'm afraid of getting popped with rubber bands and wet towels. Please, please, please never pop me with either of them. And I'm afraid of tall people falling on me.

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - I'm sure I have. Everyone does when they're young and stupid. Oh, wait...that happened last week. ( haha - it's funny...laugh! )

43. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Who was it? - 18 and the people that need to know know already.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name? - I don't think so...

46. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date? - Dude, I fall asleep on people all the time. But it's all good...I hope. I don't consider it a "date" anyway. What - do you fall asleep eating at a nice restaurnant? Or the movies? Oh, wait...I did almost fall asleep at Hot Fuzz the second time. But that wasn't a date. Unless Brenton is dating me and Stephanie. Oh - Stephanie should so have to pay you, Cynthia, because she had me and Brenton for a whole evening...

47. Have you ever played naked twister? - Ohmygod, no. Ew...

48. Have you ever been drunk at work/school? - I have never been drunk anywhere. I wonder what kind of drunk I would be...I could either be angry or way happy.

49. Have you ever jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?- I have many times. It's the way to do it, man. 

50. How many Bruce's do you know? - One of our old preachers was Bruce. That's about it. He was an odd man. He ended up raising goats and selling slot machines, I do believe. True story.

What I looked like in 2007: