June 21, 2013

My Life

(8:43:50 AM) Yours Truly: TMI STORY TIME
(8:44:00 AM) Yours Truly: So.
(8:44:11 AM) Yours Truly: Way back when, I went to the doctor for a physical.
(8:44:33 AM) Yours Truly: Or, at least that's what I thought I was doing. Basic wellness exam - supposed to be covered under our insurance.
(8:44:50 AM) Yours Truly: Somehow I was charged $50+, but that's a side note.
(8:45:05 AM) Yours Truly: I could probably call the insurance company and try to straighten it out, but not dealing with that is worth $50 to me.
(8:45:08 AM) Yours Truly: ANYway.
(8:45:23 AM) Yours Truly: We discussed some weird bumps on my head, and also poo.
(8:45:30 AM) Yours Truly: First, the bumps.
(8:45:45 AM) Yours Truly: Apparently it's just like some sort of calcium deposit, or something?
(8:45:55 AM) Yours Truly: He used to be an army doc and said he'd seen them all the time.
(8:46:24 AM) Yours Truly: He compared it to an oyster. They would numb the skin, slice it open, and out would pop this little disc. They'd give it to the guys to keep. lol
(8:46:34 AM) Yours Truly: Disgusting, but whatever.
(8:46:43 AM) Yours Truly: So I was like, alright, I'll keep the bumps.
(8:47:05 AM) Yours Truly: (He saw it all the time in the army, because they shave their heads.)
(8:47:11 AM) Yours Truly: Anyway.
(8:47:44 AM) Yours Truly: Not to go into too much detail, but sometimes when I poo it's unpleasant. And then it remains that way the next few times. I wanted to make sure I didn't have some sort of butt cancer or something.
(8:48:15 AM) Yours Truly: ("unpleasant" = pain & blood, just so you don't think I was being a pussy)
(8:48:53 AM) Yours Truly: And he suggested adding like a teaspoon of MiraLax to a drink every day. Just to...loosen stuff up.
(8:49:02 AM) Yours Truly: Allllllllllllll that to say...
(8:49:09 AM) Yours Truly: Oh, also.
(8:49:21 AM) Yours Truly: When we went to Bonnaroo we bought snacks, and one of them was raisins.
(8:49:23 AM) Yours Truly: So.
(8:49:27 AM) Yours Truly: Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll that to say.
(8:50:12 AM) Yours Truly: 1. I'm eating raisins for breakfast at work. So I had to bring in my stool softener AND raisins. I was like "pleaseohpleaseohplease no one see what I'm doing right now".
(8:50:41 AM) Yours Truly: 2. I put the (offbrand, cuz dollas!) MiraLax in my coffee, which may actually destroy my life.
(8:59:35 AM) Yours Truly: Oh, and finally, he told me I could use as little as a teaspoonful, but to do it every day (presumably for the rest of my life).
(8:59:46 AM) Yours Truly: But the bottle says to use a metric f*ck-ton and only for a week.
(8:59:53 AM) Yours Truly: I guess that's for the people with serious issues.
(9:00:02 AM) Yours Truly: mmmmm, raisins
(9:22:52 AM) Yours Truly: Baaaaaaaaah
(9:23:00 AM) Yours Truly: I picked at a stupid scab right when my bosses walked up.
(9:23:19 AM) Yours Truly: I was like "please don't be bleeding, please don't be bleeding" my grandboss said "you've got blood all over your face" >.<
(9:23:30 AM) Yours Truly: BIT OF AN EXAGGERATION, for the record
(9:23:34 AM) Yours Truly: but super embarrassing
(9:37:27 AM) FRAN: Lmfao

June 6, 2013

100 Days of Pictures: Day 13

My Favorite Band

It's tricky, because I don't really have a favorite band. But I've never changed the station when Cake was on, so I guess I'll go with them. I do love their music. And the food that goes by the same name.

June 5, 2013


What does one do when one (me, in this instance) discovers a HUGE skeleton tucked away in the far recesses of the family's closet?

Well, I didn't so much as discover it as I got hit with the spray from a shotgun blast. To continue with this bizarre metaphor...only the bones of a single finger from the skeleton were used to make the shell that was shot. It was not fired at me, but another family member. I just happened to be close enough when it happened to get the joy of experiencing it along with said family member.

It was just one sentence, used to justify what had appeared to be an overreaction to something that had happened earlier. But that one sentence has totally screwed with how I feel about pretty much my entire life leading up until that moment. I will definitely never give details of it out here. Especially since I have so few. One sentence! I have about 5,000 questions that will probably never be answered.

Thankfully our family has already begun to splinter apart (this is not an immediate family skeleton, but an extended family skeleton that is so old it has begun to decay a bit - probably why it was so easy to grab just a finger for the shell) (omg, this metaphor has to stop). But, yeah - we don't really spend a lot of time around each other anymore. Thank goodness, because I honestly have no idea how to interact with the individuals involved in this story. It's just...mind-blowing.

I hate certain aspects of my family. I hate, hate, hate that we don't communicate. We have unimportant breakdowns in communication all the time, such as trying to organize the food for this past weekend's camping trip. But then there's the big stuff, like this huge friggin skeleton. Or even smaller stuff, like me hiding tattoos from my parents. I never want this with my kids. It's not healthy! I seriously doubt this incident has been discussed among family members for years. It's something that should have required counseling, or therapy, or something. (And maybe it did? I'LL NEVER KNOW.)

And, no, I'm never going to bring this up around the person who dropped the bomb. (And now I've totally switched metaphors!) Because I was, in fact, raised in this family. And we do not talk about things such as this! Just know that I'm going to over-share all over the place with my kids. They're going to be the kids freaking out all the other kids in school, forcing parents to have awkward conversations before they're ready for them. Exactly as it should be.