December 23, 2011

Friday Tunes

In honor of FREAKING CHRISTMAS BEING FREAKING DAY AFTER FREAKING TOMORROW I thought I would have some fun holiday tunes for this edition of "Friday Tunes." Woo!

My life goal is to be in a flash mob. I couldn't have done this one because I can't sing, but would be epic. Even to just be at a place where a flash mob happens would be amazing.

At the very least I hope to have half the self-confidence this kid does. Are you kidding me? I would love to go out and make a fool of myself (on purpose) and not want to curl up and die after.

December 16, 2011

Friday Tunes

So I just saw this bad boy on my cousin's FB page. It's very applicable for this lovely (last) Christmas break. It's also the story of my life. The lyrics, not the monkeys.

December 14, 2011

Boob News

So, kind of big news... It's about my boobs, so if that makes you feel weird, don't read it.

(  o  Y  o  )   <--those are boobs. Not mine, though. Just...boobs.

Photo is...kind of related. (Almost Christmas? And boobs?) It is also not of my boobs. You will not see my boobs at all, actually.

I took my nipple rings out earlier this week. Yeah, it's a big deal. I had those bad boys in for over two years - it was a longer relationship than my marriage. But...they were fickle lovers. Not really lovers, actually - I just wanted to say that. Weird. Anyway...

They hurt me a lot. Twice I snagged my loofah on them in the shower. The first time I managed to get the ball pulled halfway into my nipple. Oi, it hurt. The blood...bleh. The second time it happened I caught it before it could hurt me, but the mesh was tangled around the ball. I was home alone and didn't have my contacts in, so I had to stagger around the house, covered in suds, clutching a loofah to my chest, trying to find scissors... I'm glad we have blinds, is all I'm saying. So, yeah, this week's showers have been amazing. Fantastic. The most enjoyable I've had in...two years. :) Every aspect of the shower experience was done very cautiously. This past week? Glorious!

Mr. T likes it better, too. I won't go into details on that side, though...

And, finally - the little buggers were migrating. (That means they were working their way out.) Piercings suck, man. I'll get tattooed any day over a piercing.

November 26, 2011

Product Dis-Placement


So I usually advertise some product I really enjoy. This also is supposed to happen on a specific it Saturday? That would be awesome if it accidentally worked out. It's been so long since I posted anything I don't remember how I used to try to do things. But anyway - this entry won't be an attempt to get you TO purchase something. Instead it's a plea to NOT buy something. So it is definitely not sponsored by the company I'm about to discuss.

I have a friend who used to sell pet food. (immediate warning flags) You know any sales(wo)man, even if they 100% believe it, as my friend apparently did (does), has been fed a huge pile of BS to regurgitate back onto potential customers. And I have been thrown up on for years. Any time I complained about the cats - hairballs, shedding, stinky poo...anything - I was informed that if I used this miracle cat food all my problems would go away. Now, I gots the street smarts, so I wasn't going to fall for any of this nonsense. But I felt bad, because it was my friend, and she seemed to genuinely believe what she was telling me.

Cut to a week or so ago at PetSmart. I need to get in, get cat food, and get out. I still haven't learned to cope with the massive amounts of options they provide - Walmart had too many choices for me and there were like five. Now there are nearly five AISLES of cat food to stare at blankly before I grab my bags of either Purina or Iams (oh! Product Placement! Purina and Iams have never let me down). This time I happened to choose the aisle with my friend's brand of food on it to walk down first. It was more expensive than what I usually buy, but I figured I'd give it a try.

The first day I try to feed it to them, neither cat finishes their food. Now, Khat has always been a food lover. She starts nagging you for food five minutes after being fed. And Chairman Meow was a stray. He lives for food and causes more mischief in our house than even Splinter, trying to get into edible things. Now that it's been a week they both eat it, but their poop smells TERRIBLE, and they throw it back up all the time. Seriously - we have cleaned up at least five piles of cat vomit since they got on this food. The pile this morning still looked like the food - it hadn't even begun to digest.

I don't know what I'm going to do. This food was so expensive I can't afford to go out and buy two more bags of what I usually get, but I'm afraid they'll become ill if I keep feeding it to them. Sigh.

The bad, bad, icky food?

Nutro. I bought a bag of Senior and a bag Kitten. Both are fails.

November 7, 2011


My ability to clean the eye goop out of the corner of Splinter's eyes gives me hope that one day I will be able to change a diaper. Just...not today. Or any time this year. But one day.

November 2, 2011


Apparently the professors are talking about me. One of them asked MC (another graduate student) why I was getting my Master's degree. Now, it could have been an innocent question, and that's how MC took it - or at least that's how he is telling me to take it - but I feel like it's as if the professors are saying "What is she doing here?" and it's making me ask the same question.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I don't like computer science. It was interesting the first 3 or 4 classes, then got tolerable, then got annoying, and now I just straight up dislike it. So why, why, why did I come back for another degree in it?!

Pa-tooey! I spit on you, computer science!

Hopefully this post won't cost me a job later on down the road, but if you can't be honest, what can you be?  My main life goal is to get a job that has nothing to do with any of this. Is that allowed?

I have to admit, I've been thinking a lot about *gasp* teaching. Don't tell my mother. I mean...what if I could get a job teaching at a community college? Something like the 1150 classes I've been teaching? Is that a possibility? Maybe?

I have got to get over this funk. It's like the dark side that comes after senior-itis. I'm not just over school, I'm over my chosen career path entirely.

October 31, 2011

Bone Spurs

Bones spurs have always been a weird phobia of mine. Don't judge me - some old lady at the church I grew up in got one when I was young, and it's been in the back of my mind ever since. My sister has a bunion phobia. We're normal, back off.

I always imagined something similar to a rooster's spur, this big gnarly growth coming out of your ankle:
My heel has been hurting the past couple days. When I put weight down on my right foot it's sore. Kind of like a bruise. So of course I started thinking about bone spurs again. And, like any normal person, I looked it up on WebMD - the Internet's gift to hypochondriacs. Side note: I spelled "hypochondriacs" right on the first try. Go me!

Unfortunately, WebMD did nothing to alleviate my fears. Apparently bone spurs are not like rooster spurs - they're just a little bit of extra bone: A bone spur (osteophyte) is a bony growth formed on normal bone. Most people think of something sharp when they think of a "spur," but a bone spur is just extra bone. It’s usually smooth, but it can cause wear and tear or pain if it presses or rubs on other bones or soft tissues such as ligaments, tendons, or nerves in the body. Common places for bone spurs include the spine, shoulders, hands, hips, knees, and feet. [...] For example, the long ligament on the bottom of the foot (plantar fascia) can become stressed or tight and pull on the heel, causing the ligament to become inflamed (plantar fasciitis). As the bone tries to mend itself, a bone spur can form on the bottom of the heel (known as a "heel spur"). 


Look at the "heel spur" link! *weeping* This is doing nothing for my paranoia! Thank you, WebMD. Thank you.

Please tell me you  have a ridiculous phobia, too. Please?

October 30, 2011

Weekend Tunes and Product Placement

It seems like these are all I have time for anymore... School is sucking the life out of me. Make it stop.

For my Tunes, I don't have a YouTube video. Shocking, I know. But in light of Halloween being in two hours and all....I'm gonna share Vitamin String Quartet's tribute to horror classics. So click right here and listen!

For Product Placement...let's see...I'm going to go with these strawberry candies. They are Mr. T's favorite candy and there are about 15 of them laying in front of me right now. They're delicious.

That is all. For now.

October 21, 2011

Dog Person All the Way

I've always thought of myself as a dog person, but now I am 100% sure. You want to know how I found out?

Litter boxes. I hate, hate, HATE cleaning litter boxes. Especially now that we have two cats.You clean the thing out in the morning, and it will need it again by that night. And Chairman Meow loves a fresh litter box. As soon as I bag up the...debris...he hops right in to start a new cycle. Splinter? For all his other problems, I can at least turn him out in the yard for a few minutes and be done with the whole "bathroom" thing.

October 11, 2011

Tunes/Product Placement...What day is it??

Oh my goodness, I missed you my blog. My little snuffy-wuffy, bloggy-woggy...



I missed...what...a week? I'm too tired right now to come up with anything clever to say, so I'll just do my missed Tunes and Product Placement from the past weekend.

Firstly, (not)Friday Tunes!!

These guys are playing Live on the Green in Nashville on Thursday (October 13). I actually played this video for my students this morning. Which may or may not get me fired... Hopefully it won't. I was just running behind and it's all I could think of. So...yeah. Woo!

And lastly, (not)Saturday Product Placement!!

At the risk of ridicule from my friends, I am going to product place Utz Cheese Balls. Mostly because it's all I could think of just now when I started typing. My friend MC bought these last Spring, and I wanted them, so I bought my own container. And for some reason, even though he bought them first, everyone started making fun of my cheese ball obsession. I actually finished the container, because I spilled about half one day on accident. Then...umm...Eel?... Sure, Eel. Eel bought me another container at the beginning of this semester. I brought it down to the lab a few times and between all my friends and myself we got it taken care of in about a month - before it had a chance to go stale. Here's to you, Utz, and your delicious, delicious cheese balls. 


October 6, 2011


If you look up the definition of "SNAFU" in the dictionary, there is a picture of my life and the words "Situation Normal: All F*cked Up" Yes, I know "my life" is a very abstract thing to have a picture of. Also, made you swear again! Such a naughty reader, with your potty brain. Hehe - that reminds me of the line from Get Him to the Greek where Sergio (P. Diddy) is talking to Aaron (Jonah Hill) about how he's mind f*cking him and Aaron says "I hope you're wearing a condom, because I have a dirty mind." omg, that movie makes me lulz...

I promise I'll stop complaining in a day or so. Probably when Fall Break gets here. I tend to feel better once I get it all out in writing or in words. That's probably why I've kept journals for so long. I wrote regularly from the time I was 13 up until the wedding. Things just got so crazy then I got out of the habit, and haven't been able to get back in the groove. It makes me sad, and is partly why I started this blog. I'm almost always in front of a computer, bathing in the soothing glow of electronic light.

Just so you know, I will never stop rambling and getting off topic. It's a chronic condition, I'm afraid.

Anyway, on to the complaining: I had two projects, a homework assignment, and an exam this week. Plus, I had to give a quiz and begin lecture on a new topic in the class I teach. And the student I assist with 2170 had a project he kept asking me for help with. And if you know me at all (or any college student, really), you'll know I'm quite good at procrastination.

So, project one was due Monday night. I finally got it working on Monday afternoon, then almost forgot to submit it. The way that professor grades is using demos. Thank goodness I married Mr. T and my last name is now Wilson - it used to start with a B and I would have been one of the first to demo! I won't go into details, but let's just say my program didn't output properly with the type of demo the professor wanted. My lovely friend...(I'm running out of good nicknames)...MC is as good as it's going to get. Anyway - my lovely friend MC, who has saved my butt about a million times over the course of my college career - let me use his test file which worked with my program when the standard test wasn't working. I still need to figure out why...

Tuesday I had to give a quiz. Then I spent the afternoon grading labs and the quiz. This was a golden day to get stuff done, and I squandered it. Oh, joy - I spelled "squandered" right the first time. Mood lifted slightly.

Wednesday was exam day. I woke up at 8:00 and started working on a study guide. Minus a few (incredibly stupid) mistakes, I'm really hoping that went well. Not too impressed with it. The professor was making it about 30 minutes before class. She had way too much on it - I wouldn't say it was too hard, but there was too much to get done in the allotted time. Only a couple people left before class was over, and I'm not convinced that they didn't just give up.

I had to finish project 2 last night as well. It was due at 12:00am, and I think I had it finished at 11:45pm. I hate that feeling. It was just stupid little mistakes that took too long to find. Again, I won't go into details. But Geddy (he really loves Rush, so I name him after the singer ;) ) and I got it done! The professor (same one from the above-mentioned exam) handed out the grading rubric before the exam (Yes, you heard correctly - the lab was due the day of the exam. It was actually due the day before the exam, but we asked for an extension. She gave us one day.). (Holy moly there are a lot of parentheses in this paragraph.) On the rubric, two of the requirements she had given us weren't even listed. So two features I implemented (because her project requirement sheet said I needed them) I won't even get credit over. The entire first half of the page was dedicated to all the comments we needed for our code. I hate undergrad classes.

Since I didn't get finished with the project until 12:00am, I didn't have a chance to prepare a lecture for my 8:00am class. So I gave everyone extra credit for showing up and encouraged them to work on the MS Office practice labs I've been pushing all semester. They were cleared out by 8:45am. Whatever. Punk students. I've been in my office all morning working on the lectures for next week, and now their exam is a take-home over fall break. You're welcome, punks.

I probably got close to 1,000 words today! Wonder how many tl;dr comments I'll get... Hey, if I get comments at all it's a win for me!

October 3, 2011

Choices, part three

Ha! You thought it was over, but it's not! I don't really have much to add, just a sad little story...

I got this really awesome job opportunity. My brother-in-law (we'll call him Lightning) sent me the information about a job opening in UT Extension. It was for an IT-type job, but would mainly focus on teaching the UT Extension software to employees. The hire is supposed to start mid-November, but I was hoping to be hired and start late November/early December (at the end of the semester), then spread out my last three classes over the course of next year. It would push my graduation date back to December, but I would have a real job! With benefits! And a real paycheck!

I knew it was really unlikely that I would get the job, and I thought I was keeping my hopes down low enough that it wouldn't matter so much when I didn't get it. But when I got the rejection letter (such an ugly word, "rejection") I was really, really sad. More upset than I thought I would be. Apparently they only consider applicants who are in their absolute very last semester. Sigh.

So here I am, with another semester and a half to get through, in a field I'm really not sure I like all that much. Hrm. Any suggestions? Other than to just get over it, that is. I'm working on that one.

October 2, 2011

Boo October

Don't get me wrong - October is great. You got Halloween, the start of Fall, the new Paranormal Activity will be coming out soon. Holy balls that looks scary. FYI - if you don't like the Paranormal Activity movies, stop reading my blog now. We are no longer friends. (Only kidding - I need the page hits. Just don't tell me they suck, or I'll cut you.)

I do love me some Halloween parties, too. We're invited to one where you have to dress up like a superhero/supervillain. But you have to make it up yourself. So no Batman or anything. We have a few ideas: Alcoholic Girl and her trusty sidekick Drunk Boy (This one mostly consists of us consuming large quantities of alcohol, which will probably happen anyway - I think it's a booze party, at least. If it isn't, our costumes will make no sense.); Tat and Too: Wonder Twins from the planet Ink (This one would involve me not wearing a lot of clothing, due to the location of most of my tattoos.); and The Steam Punks (This one would involve a lot of work in coming up with costumes). 

But no, I have a good reason for saying "Boo October" this month. Just over a month ago October seemed so far away. When Mr. T wanted to watch crappy B scary movies, I postponed it with "You can watch as many scary movies as you want come October." Last night he fell asleep to some weird movie set way in the past (think knights and such) that somehow involved witches and zombies. Tonight it's Bikini Girls on Ice. I know, right?! Contrary to my love of Paranormal Activity and Saw, I really dislike scary movies. Even bad ones.

Also, I have 2 homework assignments and a project due tomorrow (two of which are not finished), another project due Tuesday, and an exam on Wednesday. So, October blows. At least the first week. It should be awesome near the end. No verdict on the middle yet.

Side note - I think I'm going to dye my hair back to my natural color, but keep the sides short with a long streak down the middle. Like Anya, from Project Runway. I am curious about how popular this hairstyle is going to be now. I know as soon as I saw it I loved it. And even thought "If I do that...I'll just be a copycat. But it's so awesome!"

October 1, 2011

Saturday Tunes

Every Friday (this week I'm doing Saturday instead, for some reason) I'm going to post a music video. I have a few friends who choose to be rather ...  judgmental ... of my music. So I will warn you now that I will be choosing videos/songs that make me smile, or even laugh out loud. It may be ridiculous, over-the-top, offensive, or just plain bad ("Friday" anyone??) - but when I saw it the first (hundred) times, it brightened my day. I hope it does the same for you.

So I've mentioned before that I read dooce. Well, she's a recovering Mormon, and I have actually learned a lot about Mormonism from her. She posted this video...I have no idea when. I read her new posts, but I am also going through and reading all her archives (she started her blog in 2001, and I'm up to 2007). So I don't know if this was from a new entry or an old one...but it doesn't matter. I love Alex Winston's voice, and this is a bizarre song about sister wives. The video is super trippy. It makes me happy inside to just listen to it over and over...there is probably some subliminal message in there, because there isn't another song I've heard that I will do that with.

September 30, 2011

Friday Product Placement

Every Saturday - this week it is Friday, apparently - I'll discuss something I use and enjoy. This isn't for any money (I doubt anyone pays someone with no readers to advertise their products...), but it's just a little FYI for anyone interested.

Ick - I'm in my hometown tonight - it was homecoming (we won!). Tomorrow my dad is running a half marathon (the man is 65 and in way better shape than I am), so I'm going to go sleep in the grass cheer him on. I have to be up at 4:30 because he has to be there by 6:30 at the latest. Mr. T will be going to bed as I'm waking up...

The point behind all that is I won't have any pictures to upload right away. And since I'm promoting a photographer this week, my post will be pretty pointless until those pictures are up. But if you're reading this and there ARE pictures up, then this paragraph is pointless. But I won't delete it, even after pictures are on the page - just because. I typed it, now you read it. :P

AH! I just realized Friday I do music, and Saturday I do product placement. Whatever. This week is different. And I have to hurry because it's 11:19...soon it will be Saturday and then things will just get out of control.

Anyway - this post is my attempt to promote our AMAZING engagement/wedding/anniversary photographer, Braska Givens. Oh my goodness she's amazing. She shot our engagement/wedding close to the beginning of her career, and our pictures were amazing. And she's only gotten better. At the time, my sister told me she wanted to get remarried just so Braska could shoot her wedding! And now I almost want to get married again, just because she's gotten that much better!

Hmm..what else to say? She's very reasonably priced, and she's a ton of fun to work with. And she can do everything to help you - I had a wedding consultant for day-of, and Braska did more to help us than she did!! Hopefully we can do a Trash The Dress session with her. I wanted to do it while I had crazy hair, but time is running out, and the weather is getting colder. Soon I will have boring hair and it will be too cold to run around jumping in pools in a wedding dress. Although...if we could get shots of us jumping in water with snow on the ground...that would be epic. I need to send her a FB message...

Anyway - you can check out her work on her site (link above), or on Facebook. Link here - or click on the links above the pictures to see our album on her FB page. You may have to "like" her before you can see the pictures, but I promise that after you see them you really will like her!! ;)

Engagement Shots:

Bridal/Wedding Shots:

Todd's Secret Anniversary Present!

This is the only picture I'm going to post online...I'm not nude in any of them, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable posting them online. If you want to see more, just let me know.

September 29, 2011


I don't really have anything to say tonight. is stressful. It's almost fall break, which is almost the middle of the semester, which means EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. For my Graphics class I have a fairly intense project due Tuesday, along with a homework. And an exam on Thursday. I'm pretty sure I have a Networking homework due sometime next week as well. My Design of Parallel Software class has a project due Monday that I almost have finished.

As far as teaching goes - my students will have four labs due on Tuesday morning. So I'll have all of those to grade, plus I have to have a quiz made for them (and a study guide for that ASAP!) by Tuesday. AND I have to lecture from the textbook. No professor has been working on it, so I have to dig through about 5 or 6 chapters of that and come up with a couple lectures that are going to put my students right to sleep. In an attempt to keep them engaged, I should try to make a fill-in-the-blank note sheet, but zomg, that's so much more work.

Not to mention I feel like I'm never getting to spend time with my husband any more. He works until 9:00 or 10:00, then hangs out with friends until early morning. I have to get in bed by 11:00 or 12:00 and wake up early. So we spend maybe...3 hours? 4? together - on a good night. And I may have a nervous breakdown if that doesn't change soon. to make this more amusing for everyone? I could talk about poop, but I'm already getting enough trash talk from everyone about my last poop post. And there really isn't anything all that interesting about it. I just wish it wasn't such a taboo topic. I have an ingrown eyebrow hair. So that's interesting. It's driving me crazy. And before you tell me I was already crazy let me go ahead and slap you.

The good news is that my friend Cee will be moving back to TN very soon, and will stay with us for a month or two. She's bringing a pit bull, bearded dragon, and some sort of snake thing. I mean...holy balls. The stories I will have then. Ah - I can't wait! Oh! Also, my high school is having homecoming tomorrow night. So I'm going home for that. I'll be sure to post all the gory details. WE NEED A REUNION! Someone get on that, stat.

For now...I think I'll go to bed, maybe. A lot to get done this weekend.




Choices, part two

So last time I left off at the end of my Sophomore year. I had about four CS courses under my belt and had started making friends. This is probably the high point of my CS career...

I think my Junior year started pretty good...I started getting a bad case of Senior-itis, though. Yes, a year early. Women tend to mature more quickly than men. But by the end of my Junior year I had started wondering if this was actually something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I pressed on, however - the thought of starting over with another major and what that entailed (not graduating on time, losing scholarships, etc.) was enough to make it worth it. Besides, I now had a ton of friends in the department and really liked all the professors.

Senior year was just kind of...blah. The thought of getting a job really freaked me out - I wasn't ready to take that plunge yet. So I decided to go to grad school. I was engaged and knew once I got out of school and started a real life with a family of my own I wouldn't want to come back. If I didn't get a M.S. now, I never would. And, since I already knew the department, had friends, and liked and was liked by all the professors...I stayed with Comp Sci.

I still find it all interesting, and am amazed by what brilliant minds can do with technology. I'm just not one of them... While most of my friends find things to do outside of coursework - developing software/websites for themselves, researching developments in the field, building their own computers from parts...all sorts of delightfully nerdy endeavors - I can't bring myself to be interested in it.

I feel guilty about it. And terrified. What kind of job am I going to get? When I first started, I assumed I could get any sort of "computer job" with a Computer Science degree. Now, since I'm getting a M.S. in it, I'm feeling even more closed in by the path I have chosen. I don't know if the choices I've made are the ones I should have. But now that I have made the proverbial bed, I might as well lie proverbially in it. And sleep, dreaming proverbial dreams.

Yes, I am tired. I will take proverbial sleep if that's my only option. Luckily I have actual sleep waiting on me. T-minus 20 minutes until Z-time. Mmmm.... Oh - speaking of dreams - I had a dream a couple nights ago that a sign of pregnancy was peeing gemstones. Bizarre. Goodnight!




September 28, 2011

The One In Which I Make You Swear

I always get a little fuzzy on which words to capitalize in the title, so I'll capitalize ALL OF THEM. Mwahahahaha!!

Yes, I've been home alone for awhile, working on homework. Why do you ask?

Anyway - I just want to say our dog is a little sh*t. No, he's not the sh*t. That is a compliment, somehow. I don't know, these crazy kids and their crazy slang. Back in my day comparing someone to fecal matter was not a compliment - let me tell you! (Also, another poop post!!!)

Anyway - our dog is a little sh*t.

Yes, I am going to continue to spell sh*t this way. You see - I'm not swearing, but YOU are. Oh yes you are. In your little brain hole you're thinking the naughty word, while I get to be pious and not actually swear. sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t (This is the part in the story where those of you who swear anyway need to just say it out loud to prove that I'm not getting inside your head but I am.)

Anyway - our dog is a little sh*t. The stupid sh*t pulled our only (ONLY!) curtain down this morning, bending our only (ONLY!) curtain rod. The little sh*t.

If you've been to our house or met him, you know I speak the truth. Any time anyone comes over...oi - the barking! We have our windows open right now because the weather's so nice we need not heat nor air - only open windows. But this means every. single. noise. that our neighbors make results in the bark fest to end all bark fests.

Now that we have Chairman Meow (another little sh*t), the level of sh*t in the house rose up to neck level. CM needs, desperately, to be on your person in some fashion. Lap, neck, arm, hand, foot, face - it does not matter - the only requirement is physical contact. And undivided attention. "Why are you typing, human - I need attention! And food." Well this gets Sh*t #1 all riled up. Even though the only attention Sh*t #2 is getting is me picking him up off me and setting him on the floor, every movement warrants immediate action on Sh*t #1's part.

(side note - Mr. T just came home, so the little sh*t is barking. and whining.)

Don't even get me started on bed time. I go to bed hours before Mr. T's magical bedtime of sunrise, so I get to snuggle up with three steaming piles of sh*t, not one of which can handle the other two piles. There is hissing, growling, barking, gnawing on my person, and always with the constant, never ceasing movement.

And now, for your amusement - all our little sh*ts in action:

Sh*t #1:

Sh*t #2:

The O.S. (Original Sh*t):

September 26, 2011

Ramblings - Mostly About Poop

So I read something about how, in order to have a successful blog, you have to write 1,000 words a day. I'm not sure who said was in my Boing Boing subscription on my Google Reader. I don't know how many words I usually write, but I don't think it's 1,000. And with my friends' attention spans, I doubt they'd read that much. I'm pretty sure no one else reads this blog...including most of my friends.

I finally finished Portal last night. I stayed up until 1:30 doing it, too. I actually stayed up until 3:30, but the other two hours had nothing to do with Portal. And everything to do with me being an idiot. I was so tired today! Anyway - Portal. It's a really fun game. The robot dialogue is fantastic. Today, instead of getting homework done, I sat in my friend's office and played Portal 2. So now I have to do homework. :(

One thing I really wish people were more open about is their poop. I have always been regular. Very, very regular. I'm talking multiple movements per day. I never thought it could be any other way! Then I got on the subject with a couple roommates a few years ago, and realized people go DAYS without pooping! wtf?! I can't imagine. I don't think I've ever gone a day without pooping. And with this much poop happening, I have lots of interesting experiences. But I feel weird about sharing them.

Mr. T and I share poop stories with each other, but I feel guilty about that sometimes. Are we too open with each other? There was a couple in our small group in church who brought up how she farted in bed one night, and it was so funny! Because she doesn't normally fart in front of him? I can't imagine. Mr. T and I...let's just say we're very comfortable around each other. I honestly wouldn't want it any other way.

I don't know that I can be that comfortable around other people. Maybe Cee, but she's been my friend for forever. We invented a code word to let the other person know when we farted in public, to alert them to the need to get out of that area ASAP. The thought of talking about farting and pooping around any of my other friends kind of weirds me out. Does that say something about my relationship with them? There are only two people in the world I'm close enough to to actually be myself around them?

Is this 1,000 words? Is it going to shoot me into blogging stardom? Honestly, I don't think I'd want a lot of readers. Too much pressure. I started out writing every day, and now I've fizzled pretty severely. If anyone read and cared, I might have gotten an angry email about it, to add more stress to my life. Currently I have to post a link to Facebook, and then tell people about it, and then sit there and watch them read it - just to get anyone to read a post.

Now I must go. The homework - it calls to me. Please, Internet....find me another distraction.

My lovely friends decided to read this entry (80 pageviews!), probably because when I posted it on Facebook I said it was about bodily functions. At any rate - they actually took the time to copy all my text into Word to do a word count - 539, including the title. Some said anything longer and they wouldn't bother reading it, and some said they'd read 1,000+ words if it was interesting. And there's the problem. I don't think I'm 1,000+ words interesting. I do good to last 500+ without falling apart.




September 23, 2011

Friday Tunes

Every Friday I'm going to post a music video. I have a few friends who choose to be rather ...  judgmental ... of my music. So I will warn you now that I will be choosing videos/songs that make me smile, or even laugh out loud. It may be ridiculous, over-the-top, offensive, or just plain bad ("Friday" anyone??) - but when I saw it the first (hundred) times, it brightened my day. I hope it does the same for you.

Okay, someone who is getting married and has a more chill family than I do needs to use these songs in their wedding. And please invite me to your wedding - it will be awesome.

This one is for the bouquet toss:

And this one is for the garter toss:

And just for funsies - this was supposed to be our first dance song, but it rained out our reception music (outdoor wedding + rain = sad face):

September 22, 2011

TMI Baby Update

No babies this month!

Choices, part one

You know how when you're little people ask you "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I still don't know the answer to that question. I have one degree and am over halfway through another one, and I'm still not sure this is what I want to do.

When I was a freshman at university, I took all gen. ed. courses. Eighteen hours the first semester, and my adviser told me that I wouldn't have enough options if I didn't pick a major soon. So I flip through the course catalog and narrow it down to two: computer science and digital animation. The plan was to take an intro course or two in each and see which one I liked. Then I really started to look at the intro courses, and you had to take drawing and charcoal and sculpting and...I'm not an artist. So I just took Comp Sci I (1170).

I had never thought about how stuff happened with computers, really. My high school didn't have a class where you learned programming. The closest I had ever gotten to it was putting a little break tag in my MySpace page to space out paragraphs. Now I'm in this crazy world learning C++ totally blew my mind. It was fascinating. But the professor was constantly telling us how crucial a complete understanding was, and that if we didn't get this 100% the next class would be terrible. So I got psyched out. I decided to retake the class, even though I was probably pulling a B. And once I made up my mind to retake it, I got lazy. Didn't do the last few labs, didn't try hard on the a D in the course. Almost lost my scholarship. Almost got murdered by my parents.

So I retook the class over the summer. Different professor, now familiar material, easy A. I loved it even more. I took Comp Sci II (2170) and loved it. It was so interesting! The spring semester of my sophomore year I took two CS classes - Discrete Structures (3080) and Advanced Data Structures (3110). At this point I hadn't gotten to know anyone else in the department. This weird kid - Hac - in 3080 starts talking to me, and by the end of the semester we're friends. But he's not taking 3110. And that class...oh that class. I have never been so overwhelmed in my life! I still don't understand how I managed to pull a B in that class.

Now it is the end of my sophomore year, and I've started to make friends in the department. 

And now it is midnight, and I have to teach an 8:00am class. So here are some pictures - goodnight.




September 20, 2011

Oh, Mylanta

So...remember this post? The one where we weren't getting a cat? Well...we're getting a cat. We're still bickering over the name...Mr. T chose Gozer without asking me, all the while I had decided on Chairman Meow last night right before I passed out into a delusional sleep.

OK - The Roast of Charlie Sheen. omg. You have to watch it. So funny! I almost peed. Ah, so good. I would start posting one-liners, but...I'll contain myself. Let's just say I stayed up way too late last night.

You know in the movies, when the character has a bad dream and lurches awake, into a sitting position - even gasping loudly? And you think "Yeah, right - no one actually does that nonsense!" ? You know what I'm talking about? That happened to me this morning. When I woke up at 7:30. On a day that I teach an 8:00 class. I was laying in bed...99% asleep...and remembering a dream I had. I was just thinking "How bizarre that I had a dream that Mr. T's alarm was going off at 6:30! He would never set an alarm that early..." when I suddenly realized that had to be MY phone, and now it was most definitely past time for me to wake up.

I blame it all on Charlie Sheen. And tiger blood. Mostly tiger blood. And winning.

Speaking of winning, Mr. T called his mom to get Chairman Meow's name corrected. No Gozer for this house. Not yet, anyway - the next pet will be Gozer.

Todd's mom took the picture. She's taking Chairman Meow to the vet on Thursday, then bringing him (her?) to  us. Soon our lives will get even more absolutely ridiculous. Hurgurgle... This is probably a huge mistake.

Who's the warlock, now, *****?!

September 17, 2011

Saturday Product Placement

Every Saturday I'll discuss something I use and enjoy. This isn't for any money (I doubt anyone pays someone with no readers to advertise their products...), but it's just a little FYI for anyone interested.

I'm not sure this would qualify as a product, but I <3 Paul Mitchell, The School. I have been getting my hair cut there since I got married last year, and they have been great. It's always very reasonably priced - I can get a bleach, dye, and color for around $40, including tip! And they've never screwed my hair up, which is always a fear when you go to a school. It does take, though. At least three hours, usually more.

First I went green, and okay - they kind of went weird on the cut after awhile. That was my worst experience with PM, though...

After green I went pink. I really liked this cut and color, but I liked it the best when the pink had faded out a little - the tips went white and it was a really cool effect.
After pink came purple.

Then I got a I dyed it black.

This is almost a natural color. Maybe a little more orange than usual...

And this is my current style/color. Be careful when you tell the people at PM that you want "something different" because if they know you as that girl with who always gets the crazy colors they will take that statement to mean a blue mo/faux/mo-faux hawk!!

September 16, 2011

Friday Tunes

Every Friday I'm going to post a music video. I have a few friends who choose to be rather ...  judgmental ... of my music. So I will warn you now that I will be choosing videos/songs that make me smile, or even laugh out loud. It may be ridiculous, over-the-top, offensive, or just plain bad ("Friday" anyone??) - but when I saw it the first (hundred) times, it brightened my day. I hope it does the same for you.

I love this video!! It doesn't hurt that Steve Kardynal looks like one of our friends. And Katy Perry is married to Russell Brand, who is the only thing on this planet I would leave Mr. T for.

A Morning in the Life

Twice in the past week someone has tried to give us another pet. I had to talk Mr. T down from a Siamese kitten his mom had found, and then talk myself down from a friend-of-a-friend who was giving away some type of dog my friend says is kind of like a lab, maybe. My reasoning behind another dog was - someone else Splinter can torment instead of just me all the time! Then I realized it could just as well turn Splinter into a bigger pain, or create TWO tormentors, instead of just one.

Let me tell you the tale of a usual morning for me:

  1. Wake up to the sound of Splinter's whines coming from the kitchen. If he stays in his crate too long, he's not afraid to pee out the front door of it. So I get up and let him out. Of course his crack dealer was able to sneak in in the middle of the night and give him a fresh supply, so he's WIRED.
  2. After Splinter comes back in, I put him back in his crate and head back to the bedroom to try to get a couple more hours sleep.
  3. If I get back in bed without feeding her, Khat is all "Pardon me, madam, but I can't help but notice you have awoken for the day. Would be so kind as to feed me? Feed me? Feeeeed meeeee? Feed. Me. Feed? Me? Meeee.....foooood...." All the while head-butting me in the boob. Every. single. morning - boob head-butts from the Khat. It's okay, Splinter gets a good ball-shot in on Mr. T at least once a day.
  4. Now Khat's fed, and content. And I drift off to the sound of Splinter in the other room, whining "You're awake. I know you are. I can hear you moving around in there. You've let me out once. Let me out again. I'll be good, I swear. I just want to run. Run run run run run around. Please? I have to bark and run and go mental all up in this house. Did you just roll over? Are you getting up? Please get up. Let me back out. Let's play all day forever!"
  5. Now my alarm's going off. Snooze.
  6. Now my alarm's going off again. Fine....unplug my phone, plug Mr. T's in (we're down to one charger, since he left his (which was actually my old one that I gave him after he lost his first one that I no longer needed because I dropped my phone, cracking the screen, and had to get a new phone that came with a new charger which is now the only one we have because he left my-old-one-now-his-currently-missing) charger at his Unkie Ickie's house when he house-sat there a couple MONTHS ago). I stay in bed a minute, checking FB. My laziness earns me a few more boob head-butts from Khat, who has now forgotten she was ever fed and would like some food, please.
  7. I finally get up, let Splinter out again. He's all "I know you would come back, I just knew it! Life is So. Great. now that you're awake and we can play all day forever!" So I shoo him outside so I can shower.
  8. Get out of the shower, let Splinter back in. Exert the small amount of control I have over the psycho by having him Sit! ... Stay! while I scoop food. Stand back to watch him salivate - this is the only time he's ever still, other than sleeping - for a minute or so, then let him eat while I get dressed.
  9. Nudge Mr. T to let him know I'm leaving. I usually get a grunt and a kiss out of it...then I escape leave the house. Anything that Splinter does from this point on is no longer my concern - Mr. T's in charge now. My guess is he gets smashed balls while Splinter tries to burrow under the covers with him.
This morning I made Mr. T do all of it, because I'm evil. I got to hear his mumbled curses toward our babies instead of uttering my own. It made me smile... So, no - we won't be getting any more pets for awhile. If ever. And we definitely won't be having any kids any time soon. We can't cope with things we can lock in crates and leave for hours at a time. I can't imagine we would do well with a screaming baby.

We're having a hard time remembering to take pictures before we're actually in bed...but we haven't forgotten to take one yet!

We had actually been kind of dressed up last night, for my friend Banana's fashion show. Unfortunately we forgot to take the picture when we looked nice. So here we are - homeless-looking as always...

September 13, 2011

I'll come up with a title later.

I had another baby dream last night. I am not amused. It better not be a sign of Things To Come. Because we are not ready for babies.

Mr. T was trying to get me to adopt a Siamese kitten yesterday:

Me: You're kidding me, right?
Mr. T: Khat is getting older, so...when she dies we'll have another cat to take her place!
Me: But aren't you excited about that time when Khat is gone and we don't have a cat anymore??
Mr. T: I just thought it would be nice to have a kitten.
Me: For one, Khat hates other cats, and Splinter might try to eat him. And don't you remember when we thought it "would be nice" to have a dog, so we got Splinter? $700 in vet bills later we have a living terror in our home, absolutely disrupting our lives.
Mr. T: You're right.
Me: I know - I always am.

Those last two lines? That's usually how our conversations end. In my head, anyway.


Todd stayed out late tonight, so I used his anniversary present to me as a substitute. Yes, he got me a pillowcase with a picture of his head printed on it. Unfortunately the image was stretched to fit on an entire pillowcase, so his head is HUGE. But it's the thought that counts, and I have to say...I'm married to the sweetest man in the world.

September 11, 2011

"Eyes are up here, buddy..."

Most of the time when women feel the need to say that there's a man checking out their chest.

This morning, when I was standing - naked - in front of Mr. T, he was staring below my boob, at the tattoo he's been working on.



September 10, 2011

Saturday Product Placement

I'm thinking every Saturday I'll discuss something I use and enjoy. This isn't for any money (I doubt anyone pays someone with no readers to advertise their products...), but it's just a little FYI for anyone interested.

Today I choose Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Hand and Body Lotion. I'm going to be totally honest - my favorite thing about this lotion is it is dirt cheap. ~$2 at Walmart for 32oz. Every time I finally start to run out of the stuff I think "I'm going to buy something different. Just to switch it up." I've been using this crap for...four years? And I put lotion on every day. Legs, arms, tattoos. (I will say that, for whatever reason, this stuff burns like fire on a healing tattoo.) I'm the type of person who changes shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc. every time I go to buy a replacement. But Queen Helene has been by my side since my freshman year at university.

September 9, 2011

Friday Tunes

Every Friday I'm going to post a music video. I have a few friends who choose to be rather ...  judgmental ... of my music. So I will warn you now that I will be choosing videos/songs that make me smile, or even laugh out loud. It may be ridiculous, over-the-top, offensive, or just plain bad ("Friday" anyone??) - but when I saw it the first (hundred) times, it brightened my day. I hope it does the same for you.

This week I figure I should start with the first video to truly make me roll. I found it via StumbleUpon and re-watched it about a dozen times, almost driving Mr. T crazy. It has remained a favorite of mine, and I try to show it to everyone I can. Now I share it with you:

Dream, Dream, Dream

So I had a dream last night:

Mr. T and I had had a child, but for some reason we didn't start taking care of her right away - she stayed with my mom and sister. We were finally ready to go get her and were heading to my hometown with Mr. T's Unkie Ickie. In a pickup truck, for some reason.

We end up passing through this small town that had a cosplay parade going down the middle of the street. Somehow Unkie Ickie manages to hit one of the chicks, but he doesn't stop! So she's chasing us down the street... (this situation is never resolved)

We finally get to my parents' house and our daughter is like four years old. Her nap is almost over, so I go up to wake her up. She sees me, and instantly knows who I am, and she's so happy to see was a great feeling.

She's not potty trained (was this bad parenting on their part? when should a child be potty trained? I feel like it's before four...), so I have to change her diaper - which I've still never done. I didn't realize they had a changing station, so I try to change it on the couch and she just pees....everywhere. Then my sister shows me the changing table and I'm looking around the house and just see all this stuff. Baby stuff - tons of it. And I remember that the only things we have for her are a crib and changing table, like she's still a newborn.

Then I look down, and I guess I wasn't able to conceive? or something...because I suddenly remembered we had had to get my Aunt Gina to donate an egg (even though she's in her 50s now??) and our baby looked just like my little cousin. I got really upset about it, because I wanted our baby to look like us.

And then I woke up.

We forgot to take a picture for 09/08/11, so this is what we look like bright and early(ish) in the morning!

And here is our picture from 09/09/11

September 8, 2011


Mr. T: I'm still a bad boy, right?

Me: Awww... You're so cute when you say stuff like that!!

. . .

Me: That's going to be my blog post for tonight!

Mr. T: Baaaaabyyy.... No!

We went to see Fast Five tonight, and in honor of our first meeting post from yesterday, we snapped a shot in the theater of the university. We didn't have the camera, so it's a little blurry. 09/07/11

September 6, 2011

Movies and Spoons - Our History

First Meeting - The Movies

I was dating the Emo (He wasn't really emo, but this is how I will refer to him. He was actually very lovely, and we probably could have been good friends if we had never dated, but...anyway. He's the Emo for this.) So - I was dating the Emo. A friend invited us to come see a movie at the university's theater (The Departed, maybe?) with a group of friends. The Emo and I arrive first, and sit down. The group comes in, and somehow Mr. T and I end up sitting beside each other. Introductions are made, and when my name is revealed Mr. T informs me that it is a terrible name. He asks my middle name and insists on calling me that. I found out later (much, much later) that he had just ended a relationship with someone who had the same name, but at the time it felt like instant hatred came at me out of nowhere.

He realized what he had done and instantly felt terrible. But instead of apologizing and trying to explain, he asked the person on the other side of him to switch seats. You and I can see how this would do the opposite of help the current situation, but that's just how Mr. T's mind works. Now I think he hates me and he thinks I hate him and we leave the first meeting with anything but love at first sight.

Spooning Our Way to Love

Two years have passed since we first met. Other than occasionally seeing each other around campus (before Mr. T dropped out), we never really hung out. We both dated other people along the way, but two years later we were both single and at the same place at the same time. I had just gotten out of a relationship with the D*bag (he is totally deserving of the name - and worse) and a large gathering of friends had decided to go bowling. I believe it was even Mr. T's birthday. So we go bowling, then swimming, and Mr. T finds out I've never learned to properly swim. What followed was an unmitigated failure of a swimming lesson. By the way - I still can't do more than doggie paddle.

A few days later there is...a gathering...of people at a friend's apartment in the same complex as mine. Look who's there again! Another night of awkward associating with my eventual awkward forever life partner. This night we all end up crashing at this friend's apartment. It ends with four people passed out in bed together (don't worry, all clothes remain on throughout the course of the night) - the friend who lives there, Mr. T, me, and another friend. Night #1 of spooning. A magical, awkward, four-way of spoons.

Remarkably, we found ourselves in a similar circumstance the next night. Only this night we're Aware of each other. Somehow we've managed to suggest to each other (not in words, oh no - never that) that we might actually like each other, instead of hating. Who knew? There were several minutes of tension. And since this tension was keeping me from sleep (Mr. T has since learned to not keep me from my sleep), I gave up on him ever getting around to making the first move. So I went for it.

Yup - I kissed him first. While we were in bed with others. Because that's how I roll. And mostly because if I waited around on him we still wouldn't be dating.

Two years later I was saying "I do" wearing Mama N's ring instead of my own (that's a story for another day), in front of all our family and most of our's pretty amazing. So I guess what I'm saying is, be careful which strangers you insult. They may trick you into marrying them and spend the next 50 years making you pay for what you said.


September 5, 2011


I'm not clever, which is why I've been scared of starting a blog. I read several really good ones: Dooce, The Bloggess, The Dog-Faced Girl (does that one count - it's maybe more of a comic...), Telling Dad. I've also read a few blogs that are just...blah (no references, of course). I'm worried I'll fall into the second category.

Anyway, I'll use this (First!!!1!) post to introduce our family briefly. I'm married to a tattoo artist - we'll call him Mr. T, maybe. We've been together for just over three years, married for one (the last one). He started apprenticing right around the time we started dating. I was a senior at my university (where I am now a grad student), studying Computer Science. We have a dog and a cat.

Hmm... Is that introduction enough for the first (!!1!!!one!) post? I think so. Maybe next time I'll talk about how we met. And later started dating. That's a fun story. That I don't think we've ever told. All of the Internet will be our first audience. Congratulations!

We're attempting to take a picture of ourselves every day until...we mess up. Then we'll start over. :) So this is our picture for 09/05/11.