Junk Food

You know the problem with those big variety packs of snack-sized chip bags? They're freaking snack sized. And no matter how excellent the assortment is, there is still *that flavor* that you don't want. It's usually the first one you pull out of the box. It must go back in, and the second is a much, much better alternative. I mean, sure, Sour Cream and Onion are fine when you're at a party and the only options are those or plain potato chips. But there has got to be MORE to life than this! So when you reach back in and pull out Spicy Nacho Doritos...the world has now returned to its right and wonderful place.

Another thing to complain about: my bastard of a husband who is not only a bastard but is, in fact, a man that I love more than Spicy Nacho Doritos or giraffes (guess what two things I just looked down and saw - well there were three, but one was a picture of us, so it wouldn't fit this analogy - is analogy the right word?). Another thing to complain about: not one but TWO empty soda boxes in the refrigerator. HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP TEASE!

Anyway... The last thing I remember consciously doing was thinking "I should feed the animals before I fold these clothes." and not only are the clothes not folded, the animals aren't fed and I'm not wearing any pants.

source

"I hate it when I have a great joke line up and all of a sudOOPS"

Also, that bit about the pants? Totally true.

Or is it?