May 23, 2012

The Wilsons Buy a Car

Well yesterday was a fun day. Not sure if you heard, but I got a job!! Woo! So Mr. T immediately set out to spend my first few paychecks. Before I've even started. (I start on Tuesday. Hopefully.) He started looking for a car for himself. And then immediately found one. Which is kind of how we decided to move in to the house we're renting right now...when boy decides to do something he wastes no time!

It's this nice little red Jeep - '91 I believe. So....old. But he told me after we test drove it "Any time I imagined the perfect car...this is it." How can you say no to that?! I'm so screwed when we have kids! It was $2800 which is relatively low, but we just didn't have the cabbage yet (hehe, "cabbage"). I suggested saving up and if it was still not sold when he had the money we buy it, otherwise he would have money saved up to get another car! But...this is his "perfect Jeep" Oy.

So...financing. Loans. More debt. Only $2500. Which he'll be able to pay off in like...three months (now that I have this awesome job - that I haven't started yet, mind you - and will be able to pay all the bills on my own, so he can focus on paying off his debts). But...where to get the loan?? This, my friends, is where my story begins. "But wait," you say "Haven't you already started the story?" No, my love - that was just the background. This is the story:

Chapter One: Mariner's Financing
So the dealer told us about this loan company....sent the information over....and Mr. T needed to take over some tax stuff to determine if he could take out a loan. So yesterday morning we head out to "somewhere past Kohl's" on Old Fort (that's all Mr. T remembered about the loan place). Pull into the Kohl's center...can't find any financing place anywhere. Driving, driving, driving...looking..."Oh! I think that's it!" So we go to Advance Financial. We go in, Mr. T tells them who he is, blah blah blah, she takes our stuff and starts filling out paperwork, making copies, time ticks on, then all of a sudden Mr. T is like..."Is this the right place?" and she's all "Do you need a check advance?" and he's all "No, I need a loan for a car." and she's all "Oh, we don't do that - but you're not the first person to come here on accident!" And so he calls the dealer again, gets the name of the place and is again told "somewhere past Kohl's" Driving, driving, driving...looking..."I don't see a Mariner's anywhere - call him back." Now we have the address. It's actually not all that close to Kohl's, for the record. I go to pull back out onto Old Fort, but Mr. T thinks we can get there without getting on the main road, so I start driving...."STOP!" he yells (for the record - don't EVER yell "stop" when I'm driving, unless you want to put all our lives in danger). He apparently disapproved of my driving behind the businesses, where employees park. I was all "You told me to drive in a straight line from here to there!" I'm a good and obedient wife, so I decide to pull back out in front. But of course there are these giant yellow concrete trucks-can't-go-this-way barriers, so it's a tiny tiny TINY fit...but I get through! And we see Mariner's! And...there's a grassy median between our parking lot and its parking lot (a median that isn't there behind the stores - if I had gone down one more we would have been there!!). So then I had to pull back out onto Old Fort, and then immediately back into a strip mall. Of course it was to our left!

Mr. T signing the title.
Chapter Two: Show Me the Money!
We get to Mariner's...go in...give them our tax stuff...chick doesn't know how to read tax reports. It takes all three of the employees there to figure it out. They say Mr. T's credit report is fine, but that his reported income for last year was too low. And...if he actually made more than he reported to good old Uncle Sam...doesn't count. Well, let's try Mr. T's bank, then. Show up at 11:00, his best friend banker (the reason Mr. T won't drop Regions and embrace the warmth that is Ascend with me) is leaving for lunch. Be back at noon. I have to meet my sister for lunch at noon so I can watch Baby M while she gets her hair cut on the Square. So Mr. T goes on his own. When I get back from an awesome play date with Baby M, I find out he was denied again - this time because of his credit score! Good old momsie, thanks for dropping the ball on those student loans and not telling us until he was about to default on them!! So...what if I got the loan in my name? Eh? Eh? Sounds like a party! So then I go to Regions and talk to Mr. T's best friend banker (who really is a lovely guy). And omg it takes FOREVER. But! I have a great credit score. Like...almost perfect. So I get the loan no problem. It's just all the paperwork. So gross. We go up, deposit the money into Mr. T's savings account, and I walk out $2500 richer (or $2500 more in debt, however you want to look at tie). I get back to the shop and Mr. T's all..."I need that in cash to pay the dealer." Oops.

You can see how the strain of the day wore on him. This was the happiest he had been all day, and he still looks like he's trying to poop a porcupine.  Side note - I had no idea "porcupine" had a 'u' in it until just now!
Chapter Three: One Jeep, Please
Whew, almost done... Mr. T withdrew the funds from his savings. He has a break from work at 5:00 and called the dealer, asking him to stay late. He agreed. We dash up there, Mr. T is filling out paperwork (while I'm taking pictures of his butt). Dealer starts counting the money then says "What are you planning on doing about the taxes?" and a silence descends on the room. Mr. T didn't think about taxes. He has enough money, but he only withdrew the exact amount on the car. To be fair, he's never actually bought a car through a dealer before, always friends and family. But now it's 5:30. And we have to find an ATM or open bank. We bolt out of the dealership, go to the nearest Regions. It's closed, but there is an ATM! Card, PIN, Withdraw, Savings, wait...."account doesn't exist" What the what? For some reason Mr. T can't access his savings account from an ATM. Awesome. And I don't have a debit card, so I can't use an ATM to withdraw money. I have to find an open bank. Luckily Ascend truly is the better bank, and we find one that's still open. I decide to use the drive through, even though I never ever have before. I know they did a photo ID to withdraw, so I take the Post-It the dealer wrote the tax amount on and added "withdrawal from account #xxxxxx" and stick it to my driver's license. Mr. T is yelling at me the whole time "No, you need to call them and tell them you need to make a withdrawal, and then they send you a withdrawal slip that you'll fill out, then you send it back and then you get money!" Now that just sounds like nonsense. I told him to hush - I've never even seen a "withdrawal slip" in my life. So I send my little ransom not on its way. A few seconds later I get a "Do you need a withdrawal from checking or savings?" "Checking, please." "Okay - anything else, Mrs. Wilson?" "No, thank you!" "Okay, have a nice day!" "You, too!!" and out comes my money! I only waste a second for a smug look, then we're dashing back to the dealership! Mr. T give him the rest of the money and we've got a new car!!

I tried to get an action shot as we drove home, but failed. I didn't want to risk another one and kill everyone, so I gave up. But you can kind of see him...
Chapter Four: That Night
Mr. T had to go back to work, so I came home and chillaxed. Roommate got home a little bit later, then Mr. T gets home. "Does anyone need anything? I can take us to a store if someone needs something!" So we all go on a cigarette run for Roommate. Ten minutes later Mr. T and roommate make a beer run. When they get home they want to watch Supernatural (gag me), but I had just started an episode of Raising Hope (freaking hilarious show, for the record). Mr. T is all "No worries - we'll just watch it on my iPad outside!" I, mistakenly, said "You're not going to sit in your Jeep are you??" At first he said no, but ten minutes later he walks in and says yes, yes they are going to sit in the Jeep and watch it. But I guess the iPad needs to charge while they watch it, so he has to run an extension cord from the living room into our front yard, where he and Roommate sat watching Supernatural for longer than is considered sane. Also, they didn't close the door all the way and we almost lost all our pets. Literally. Both cats were outside and Splinter almost was.

I swear I live with children. But I love them. And I'm glad we have Roommate to entertain Mr. T with things such as Jeep Supernatural marathons and blanket forts. I'm also glad he finally has his own car so I don't have to keep taking him to and picking him up from work.