August 22, 2012

Title Here

So... I read (well, skimmed) a couple of articles written by Christian women about this new fad “mommy porn” that’s going on right now, what with 50 Shades of Grey and Magic Mike and all that good stuff. They discussed how Christian women should be above all that and it’s the downfall of America (or warning signs of the coming downfall), blah blah blah. Actually, I don’t know how drastic they made it out to be. Again - skimmed. They did say it was morally wrong and the fact that Christian women are accepting of it is bad news bears.

Side note: I read/heard somewhere that deja vu is just your brain firing twice when it receives input, so as it’s happening it also suddenly feels like a memory. Is this true? Yes, I just had a weird moment of deja vu as I typed “bad news bears”, why do you ask?

What I did read in both articles (blog posts, really), was the fact that Christian women are being hypocritical - “If you caught your man reading Playboy or watching Striptease you would be livid!” (That’s not a direct quote from either, but they both said very similar things.) And this is where I feel the need to respond. No, not on their actual blogs - one of them had nearly 1500 comments. I’m not about to jump in the middle of that mess. I’ll just post over here on my never-read blog and carry on with my life.

Whoa, off-topic. Focus - Playboy, Striptease - heh. What a weird sentence. Anyway. I just want to say I don’t get “livid” or “angry” or "<insert verb here>" when Mr. T looks at these things. He has a stack of Playboys in his closet that he brought home from work (yes, the shop has a subscription). If it has an interesting article or celebrity I’m interested in (once there was an interview with Russell Brand!!) he will even bring one home for me. lol!

Now I’ve been told numerous times that Mr. T and I have a very....unique....relationship. Speaking of 50 Shades - there are tons (tons!) of freaky, off putting, straight-up weird things those people do that I will not, but the one (one!) thing little-miss-kinky-heroin would not do with her BDSM partner was pee in front of him. **SPOILER** She almost dies, and is in the hospital - he carries her into the bathroom and she can’t pee until he walks out the door and turns his back. **END SPOILER** I mean, come on people! It’s not like you’re peeing on them. When you have a one-bathroom living situation sometimes people have to be in the bathroom at the same time. Pooing is another matter entirely. That is a very private experience. There are sounds and smells...things happen to you that no one ever need witness. But peeing is simple. Straightforward. Quick. Stop being babies and just do it. I also pee in the shower. It’s a liquid and is washed down the drain. One toilet flush is more water than some people see in a day, Wasteful American.

Whoops - off topic again. All I mean to say is that I’m okay with Mr. T looking at naked ladies. One of our favorite pastimes used to be picking out a terrible movie from Comcast OnDemand, usually a horror flick, and fast forwarding through it until we found nudity. Now that we have Netflix, HBO, and Showtime it’s easier to find TV we actually want to watch so we’re not reduced to such childish games. But still. It was valuable bonding time while we were dating/newly married. Even today I’m more likely to point out boobies than he is.

Maybe I’m a freak, I don’t know. I don’t really know the point of this entire post. Other than to voice my opinion on an article I’m not even going to link to, because I’m too scared to post my opinion on the actual article. I’ve already been called butthurt once in my life, I don’t need it again. Well, I doubt either of those nice ladies would say that. They would probably get sad and pray for me. My parents already do that enough, I’m afraid. I feel like too many Christians these days are busy weeping and gnashing teeth about every little thing. Stop pointing out all the terrible things that you perceive happening and love people. Be nice, and happy, and shine with yo’ Jesus light. You’ll get way more people to come to church with that. I feel like the only thing that matters is that you love Jesus. And also don’t kill people. Or at least love Jesus more than you kill, if you can quantify both in such a way you can compare them.

I need to stop now. I’m not making any sense anymore. Especially since I just typed “snwer” instead of “sense” just now. Bye, e’erbody!