I will have a child one day, and my child will be awesome! You'll look at him and go, "Man. I wish my kid was that cool!" But no, your kid will be dumb and boring. He'll look like every other baby out there. You put him on the playground and not be able to pick which one is yours anymore. Everybody be coming up to you going "Awww... Look at your baby! He's such a baby-like baby!" And you'll be like "Yeah! My baby's a boring as I am! We live in a boring house with boring lives and do boring things!" And I'll look over, with a single tear glistening on my cheek, thinking Where did this country go wrong? And no one will have an answer! The world will weep for you!!
Yeah, no. Not really. My kid's gonna be the one eating sand and running into things. Get trapped in a corner because he doesn't know to turn around. But that's cool. At least I'll know which one's mine. :P