September 26, 2012

This is (Part 2 of) a Story of a Girl

If you missed Part 1....hopefully I remembered to add a link to it before I published this one. ;)


By the end of my undergrad career I had become really close “friends” with MC. I hate that he’s the focus of my CS story, but I want to be a warning to other people out there. Don’t be stupid like me. Sometimes I feel like I got out of an abusive relationship, lol. Not physical - he’s CS for crying out loud. But by the time our friendship was over I had zero confidence in myself in the one area of my life he had any influence - CS. I can’t imagine what he does to the women he dates.

Everyone else in the CS department is great. I mean...there are some weird ones. Well, some REALLY weird ones. We’re all weird. But most of us are the kind of weird that we can accept. Maybe no one outside of us can...but we do. There are some that we can’t even tolerate. But I’m not here to make fun of the freakiest of the freaks. That’s just mean. But try to tone down your weird, guys. Just a little. For me? Please?

So, anyway. By the time I graduated I was friends with most of the department. At least the group of people who were as far along into the program as I was. Three of us stuck around for grad school. I thought that was a lot. But this past year? I think EVERYONE stuck around for grad school. It amused me. Leave the nest, little birds! But I still visit campus...so who am I to judge?

Gah! So off-topic! Grad school. It was fun. Mostly. I think what detracted from it was my friendship with MC. By now he had made me dependent on him, school-wise. If I didn’t understand something I’d ask him for help. “Well how do you think you should do it?” I explain my thinking and am called an idiot and told how to do it - his way. I can’t emphasize this enough:

DO YOUR OWN WORK.

It’s tricky, because you can obviously get help from people. Every other friend I’ve had in the department I’ve been able to work with and still learn. So I guess I should say....always make sure you understand what you’re turning in. Don’t just let someone tell you how to do it. And if anyone EVER makes you feel stupid for not understanding something - get away from them. I don’t mean those people that are so freakishly smart you can’t believe they’re actually human. I mean people who purposefully insult you for not being as smart as they are.

He was constantly telling me I was dumb - telling other people I was dumb. He told me if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have made it through grad school. But you know what? I had classes without him. And I made perfectly good grades in them. And I actually KNEW the stuff I was doing. Well, except for Networks. But that class is BS. All the classes I had with MC...I don’t think I learned anything. Other than how worthless I was.

By the end of grad school I was sick of it. He was pissing me off on a weekly basis. No, daily, probably. The only reason I stayed his friend was because I knew after graduation we wouldn’t talk any more. I didn’t want him to think I was only his friend so I could get help from him. And I wasn’t brave enough to call him a dick. Well, that’s a lie. I think I did call him a dick a lot. He just didn’t care. Any time you call him out on his BS he just assumes you’re jealous.

Part 3 (the final part) should be posted next week. Stay tuned for the cluster f*ck that was the end of our friendship!! :D :D