January 15, 2013

Sharing is Caring

This story is only going to be a little awkward. I've told more awkward stories in my day, but still. If you're a punk, like Little Hippo, prepare to be all "Waaaa - bathroom story - waaaa!" 8P

I've told you about the bathroom at work. The toilets - they are a little too into flushing.

Today they tried to kill me.

I'm wearing the pants I bought on my last shopping adventure at Caroline's Consignment in M'boro. I've only been work-clothes shopping twice since I started this job. Considering work clothes are what I wear 5 days out of the week...I don't have a lot of options. I hate all my work clothes. Anyway - these pants are long enough to wear with heels and actually fit around the waist. The other pants I own that are long are HUGE around the waist. I have no idea why I bought them. And the pants that fit around the waist are too short to wear with heels. The point of the story is that I'm wearing heels.

These are my black heels that I got at Marty (Marti?) & Liz - also in M'boro. I live in M'boro, I shop in M'boro. Shouldn't be a surprise. Anyway - they're not high-class shoes. They were about $15. (Did I ever mention that I overheard a conversation at work where a man (A MAN) was being made fun of because he wouldn't spend more than $160 on shoes?!) They're super shiny. I had a friend once say "Wow, those shoes are shiny." and this chick replied with "That's because they're fake leather." Wow. B*tch. I happen to LIKE my fake leather, fifteen dollar, platform, four inch heels you slut. Now stfu! Whoa, anyway...

Back to the toilets. I peed. I went to flush and got a little carried away in my attempts to avoid the splash and did this quick scuttle toward the stall door....my pants (WHICH WERE NOT UP - AWKWARD PART OF THE STORY) had slid down enough that the hems were now under my shoes. So when I went for the scuttle like the crazy person that I am my feet slid and there was a moment of panic and then I was okay and pulled my pants up and left the stall to wash my hands.

And not a drop of back splash got on me, thankyouverymuch.