March 18, 2013

Hopes and Dreams: Day 18

Day 18: What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Hmmm... Nothing super terrible has happened to me.

I dated douchebag for about a year, and he was pretty terrible. He was idiot. He told me we might "accidentally" have sex one night, that he would more than likely cheat on me and I had to be okay with that, he was happy when he graduated while I was still in school so he wouldn't have to go to church with me for two years (before we got married, I suppose). He also talked about his ex a lot (they had been engaged). He had a ton of pictures of her that he wouldn't throw out (including some porn on his computer). When I finally did break up with him he took back everything he had given me, including his old wireless router he had given me when he bought a nicer one and the PSP he bought me. He had originally given me his old PSP when he bought a new one. Then he dropped it and broke it and insisted on buying me a brand new one, even though I told him not to. And then, since one of the reasons I broke it off was because of the whole "don't like church" thing, he got baptized by my college minister at my church to try and get me back. I

The only other thing that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth is what my cousin did regarding some pictures of me she saw online. If you know the story, good for you. If you don' can dig through the archives or just not worry about it.

Oh oh oh - and MC!

Actually - I don't think I've forgiven any of these people. I'm still pretty bitter. I have this app called Fig and you list things you need to do, and how often you need to do them. Like...drink water 8x per day. Exercise 4x per week. And so on. One of mine is actually "release my resentments" and much like my "avoid touching my face"'s more of a reminder. I never actually go "Oh, yes - resentments released!" And 90% of the time when I see the "avoid touching my face"....I'm actually touching my face. It is a useful little app, though. Like just now when I pulled it up to make sure I phrased those two correctly I saw that I hadn't taken my vitamin yet today, so I did that. Woo, Fig!! Ooohh...I'm also due to "soak in a bath".